I am having a hard time being true to myself. When I get busy at work or with other things going on in my life, I find it hard to follow the true tenets of my heart. My heartbeat says to go one way, but I’m too anxious or stressed due to something or the other to listen to it. I want to follow my instinct, but I don’t wait long enough to see what it says. I get impatient and my actions get garbled. I try to auto-correct, but I only end up making things worse. When nothing seems to be going right, I know I have forgotten my values and my heart. I turn to silence and truly listening to my gut at those moments.
It is like that little voice inside of you that is telling you all of these things that turn out to be true. Don’t go onto the 401 at this time. Take that course that you’ve thinking about. Do not marry that man. Go up to that person and ask them the time, you’re going to become good friends. Do not take that job offer. There are a hundred little messages that our subconscious or the universe gives to us in its own subtle way. Sometimes it is a little too subtle. Several times you didn’t even know that it was a message until it was too late. Until you made the mistake and backtracked. Then something reminds you – I told you not to do that.
I read somewhere that if you stop listening to that voice inside of you, eventually it dies a painful death. When you stop listening to it in the beginning, it will clamor to be heard. It will get louder. It knows best for you. It wants you to be happy. It will get louder and louder. It will use situations and people to give messages to you. But if you still ignore it, eventually it will stop telling you things. It will just be silenced. You will not hear it again for a while. Until you prove to it that you are worthy.
That makes a lot of sense to me, because I had stopped listening to my voice in my late teens and early twenties. I was running too fast to notice that my path was riddled with danger and clues. I was doing too much to stop to hear what my voice had to say. My life was always going wrong because I didn’t work by instinct but by my head. My analytical brain is great at solving maths or doing excel sheets, but when it comes to making life decisions, I would trust my gut over anything.
When my instinct stopped telling me things, I had a few hard years, where I couldn’t seem to get off to a good start in anything. It took months and months of healing through yoga, meditation, travel and slowing down, for me to get back to status quo. I will never want to lose that again.