I was on the highway on the weekend, driving down to Niagara-on-the-lake to visit some of T’s friends. I was looking up at the clouds and I realized that instead of relaxing and enjoying the joyous summer ride, I was contemplating how it would be when we get to South America, and what we were going to eat.
But jokes aside, I was not present in the moment. That was in my mind a situation that requires further enquiry. I was thinking to myself why was I having a hard time being present in the moment? What was causing me to seek the future or the past, rather than being happy in the present moment?
And then I remembered what someone had said to me a few days ago, about my frustration with my yo-yoing mind-body connection, some days it’s strong, some days it’s gone. They said, it is not an on-off button. You can’t just flip a switch. Think of it as a gauge. A movement from strong to weak. A movement in the gray area, where it’s not black and it’s not white.
I was treating my body and my mind as if it were a piece of machinery.
I calmed myself down, and I closed my eyes, which is where I feel the most connected to myself. When I close my eyes, and I see darkness, I see the back of my eyelids, I see random shapes. I feel like I am connected to my mind, body and spirit. I closed my eyes on the weekend in the car, and I saw myself as I am here in this moment.
I tried to see how I felt about myself in the moment. Was I doing well? Was I doing everything I need to do in order to get to my goals? One or two items that I had been neglecting came up in my mind, so I put them aside to deal with during the week. But besides that, I felt like I was moving along. Nothing is ever perfect, but I felt like I am moving along.
What do you do to remain in the present moment?