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You Are The Poorest Among Your Friends

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You Are The Poorest Among Your Friends

Photo Attributed to Thenix

Why do we always feel like the people around us have more money than us? If you asked anyone of your friends how much money do they think you have or they have compared to others – they are always going to over-estimate how much money you or their other friends have, and underestimate their own. We are poor. Others are rich. That is the consensus. Why do we not see the reality? Everyone is not richer than us. Everyone is not poorer than us. Some might be richer, some might be poorer. But there is no generality that can thrown at the status of the people around us.

Maybe I have an inferiority complex with this sort of thing – but I always believe everyone around me makes more money than me. Significantly more. I make a meagre 40K in the bowels of Toronto, and I consider myself to be one of the ones who makes significantly less than the people that I know, that I meet on the street, in my yoga classes. The reason I think this way is simple. I compare my inside life to their outside life. I know how much money I have, and what I can do with it. I cannot buy Lululemon workout clothes by the boatload, if I wish to erase my debt. I cannot go on random one week vacations to Puerto Plata, if I wish to save up for the Big Trip. I cannot have a really nice, new, shiny car, if I wish to pay off my mortgage faster. The list goes on.

But I do not see the insides of the people around me. I only see their Lululemon workout clothes, their fancy cars, their fancy furniture and downtown apartments, their pictures on FB of the vacations they have been on, etc. I do not see their debt, their stress about their debt, the paycheque they get every month, the money they have to borrow from friends or family, them having to give up on something to have a nice car, and so on. I do not see their inside life, but the outside life they portray to the world.

Do you do the same? Are you comparing your inside life to their outside life and lamenting about the unfairness of the situation? You are probably not the poorest of your friends or the richest perhaps. But looking at the life portrayed on FB or to the world is never the best way to judge the people around you. If you are going to have an honest conversation about money with them, then maybe you will be able to figure out what the honest truth is. Until then, try to base your assumptions on reality.

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Not Running Away

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Photo attributed to Thenix

Photo attributed to Thenix

A friend of mine and I were having this conversation about running away from problems and difficult situations. It is easy, isn’t it? Just to run away from situations you don’t care to think about, and ignore problems in the hope that they would go away. Such an easy way seemingly to deal with life in general. If you wait long enough, all your difficulties will give up and disappear.

The more courageous thing is to stand up and face your fears, anxiety, difficulties, your demons, head-on. That is the hard way to do it, but once you get used to the idea that you are going to face everything as it comes, your life in general becomes easier. Ignoring problems doesn’t really make them disappear in reality. It just postpones the inevitable. It creates tension in yourself. It takes up space in your head. It festers and grows, until it blows up. You are sitting there in fear waiting for the day when the problem will finally grow too big to ignore, when you would have to deal with it no matter what.

If you face the problem as soon as it pops ups, make a plan of action to deal with it, and put the plan into place, you instantly feel better about the problem, and a thousand times lighter. You haven’t swept it under the rug, you haven’t just looked at it, and given up, you are actually doing something about it. Action in a thousand ways is better than any other way of dealing with situations. Once you start with action, you also give the signal to the universe to start doing something about it. The universe turns on the faucet, so to speak. It starts sending you opportunities and people who can help you with your situation. Suddenly, you find you are not alone.

You might find that there are among your friends who have dealt with the same situation. You get feedback and advice from people all around you. Instead of brooding about it, festering inside about it, killing your insides with stress and anxiety, you are able to get some real feedback and advice. The situation also resolves quicker than it would normally because the whole universe is behind you. You aren’t using the power of only one, but the power of many.

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Never love somebody who treats you like you’re ordinary

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Photo attributed to flickr user PAPYRARRI

Photo attributed to flickr user PAPYRARRI

I have this policy of learning from the people around me, and as I’m as imperfect as they come, I have a lot of learning to do. One of the people I learn a lot from every day is Thenix. One of the things that surprised me about him is that he is friends with every single one of his exes. He helps them fix their cars, drives them places if they need it, and other little things, that says to me, they are not just acquaintances, but friends.

I have had this policy from the first time I broke up with someone, to never be friends with my exes. Why keep that saga of your life in your life? Forget and move on. Unfortunately, that meant that all of those wonderful friendships that I had forged with some amazing men, was lost. You spend a lot of time with a person in a relationship and you are going to lose that all, because you are no longer seeing each other. I realized that whilst speaking with Thenix over his reasons for staying friends with his exes. I decided to revamp my friendships with as many exes as I could.

One of my major relationships was with this individual who embodied the title of this post. He didn’t realize that we’re neither of us ordinary and every day that we were together wasn’t ordinary either.

Whenever my friends ask me about Thenix, why I am with him, or why he’s with me, or why I would ever be with someone, I have to just point out the feeling I get when I’m around him. He makes me feel like I’m special, extraordinary, that his life wouldn’t be the same without me. And I hope I make him feel the same way. This feeling of ecstasy, the feeling you get when you first get into a relationship, is the reason I first got into the relationship, but after 8 months of togetherness, I realize that the feeling is something that is here to stay. It might not be as full-blown as the first time we kissed, but the butterflies in my stomach and the love that I feel for him is going to be a constant.

I tell my girlfriends, to find someone who sees the beauty in them, that I do as a friend of theirs. I realize every single one of them are amazing human beings that make the world a better place by being in it, and the guy who is going to be their partner has to feel that as well.

Ending off the post, on a comedic note, I go back to this every single time I think of my exes, ‘Have you ever looked at your ex and wondered if you were drunk the entire relationship?’

Makes me laugh and cry every single time.

You are nobody’s caretaker

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Photo attributed to flickr user Piotr Zurek

Lately I have been letting myself get anxious over the fact that I have to take care of the house while my mother is in India, making sure my brothers and father eat well, and making sure that I do all the things I need to do at Thenix’s place, making sure that he eats well, and that I help him with anything he needs help with.

Yesterday, while lying in bed, after a frantic end to the day, cooking four dishes and cleaning the kitchen in one hour flat, I realized I was pushing myself to be everyone else’s caretaker. No one needs you to take care of them. They can take care of themselves, and that is the mantra that you have to push to yourself, especially if you are female, and if you are conscious.

The priority in everyone’s life should always be themselves. You are the priority for yourself. No one else is as important to yourself as yourself. Once you have taken care of all the things that matter to you, your health, and safety and happiness, then you can go on to bigger and better things. You cannot take care of someone else, unless you are at the epitome of health and happiness yourself.

Otherwise, you will feel empty inside. Giving more than all of yourself will empty you and you will be left holding the broken pieces.

Let me know what you think of this post. Thanks for reading.

Receiving is hard for me

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Photo attributed to Thenix

I have written about receiving from the universe before here. I realized though that I really have to force myself to receive. I was sitting in a meditation class, in a cross-legged position, and I had my palms on my knees, as if to protect them from damage. The teacher said, ‘Have your palms facing up, if you wish to receive energy and facing down, if you wish to give.’

I tried to turn my palms upside down, face them outwards towards the world, but it was seriously a mental and physical effort to do that. My hands would not move. When I was in the position to receive with my palms up, I was uncomfortable. I felt uncomfortable. I looked uncomfortable to myself in the mirror. I wondered to myself, what the hell is going on? Why am I unable to receive energy? I have no trouble giving energy out, helping others, doing anything and everything for the people around me, but when it comes to receiving I have a real issue.

Why is that? I am a giver by nature, and I have been taught from the beginning of my life, by my parents that giving is good, taking is bad. Taking is selfish. My mother emulates that in her life everyday by giving everything she has, energy, time, money, even to people who do deserve it, even to people she dislikes, because it is good to give. My father does that everyday by giving all his energy, time and money to his businesses and his family, taking nothing for himself, because it is good to give.

They lament about the fact that they have a selfish daughter who doesn’t give, who doesn’t really take from them, but doesn’t really give back for all the years that she was dependent on them. I have learned slowly, but not completely, that giving is good, but there has to be a balance like everything else in life. You have to give as well as receive. You have to be comfortable doing both with equal intensities. You cannot be generous to the world and then refuse to take its presents and gifts to you. You cannot give away your energy to the world, and then refuse to take time to heal and rest yourself.

How are you with receiving and giving? What do you do more?

Yoga as a Cult

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Photo attributed to flickr user bhikku

Thenix and I visited a very religious family over the weekend and this bought up questions of religion and religious fanaticism. I have never been very religious myself. From the age of 5 months, until 16, I had lived in extremely religious Moslem countries. And all I saw of it, I did not like. Being an independent, freedom-loving individual, religion is opposite to every viewpoint I have. I do not condemn those who are religious, but I wouldn’t really consider them very good friends. I respect their choices for their lives, as long as they respect my choice for my life. Do not try to change me, or preach to me and I shall be content.

I was thinking about yoga as a religion or a cult over the weekend, and it could have strong inclinations towards it. People who are in yoga are so ecstatically happy about it, we are always trying to convert others to try it. We know once you try it, you are going to be hooked. People in yoga are addicted to yoga themselves, going 4-5 times a week, talking about it all the time, letting the different aspects of yoga permeate the various sides of your life. We believe the world would be a better place if everyone on the planet did yoga. We wish to bring yoga to the disadvantaged people of the world.

Of course, the reason Yoga isn’t degraded by others to be a religion, is because of the health benefits. You can see the people in yoga are strong, beautiful, healthy and happy. They do not want to cause harm to themselves or others. They wish to live their lives in the way they have chosen, without interfering with anyone else’s chosen path.

What do you think of yoga as a cult or a religion?

What does freedom mean to me?

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Photo attributed to flickr user cuellar

If someone spoke to me today and asked me where I see my life going in the next 5-10 years, I definitely do not list a promotion or leading a  team of 10-15 people as one of the major tenets.

I see a few things in my dreams. The freedom to do what I want with my time and energy. The idea of doing things because they are fun, not because I HAVE to do them. Removing all the unnecessary items from my life. Having only the stuff I absolutely need. Minimalism is key. Spending time with family and friends. Being content in the moment. Including lots of yoga, reading and writing in my life.

The question I ask myself quite often is why can I not start this life right now? What am I waiting for? What are these freedoms waiting for? Why cannot I begin today?

I have a lot of excuses in my head. My blog isn’t making money for me. My yoga teaching isn’t making enough money for me yet. I still have student loan debt. I still have a mortgage (which doesn’t count as it is rented out). The excuses go on, but the truth of the matter is, I am afraid. Fear is holding me back.

I do not know what awaits me on the other side of unemployment, of quitting the 9-5 rat race. What would I do with my time? What would I do with the removal of a steady income? What would I tell my parents? My friends? I wouldn’t be able to go out as often with them. I wouldn’t be able to own a car, as that is freaking expensive.

How will I live? The truth of the matter is, that I have no idea how I will pay for minimal expenses if I do not have a job. I do not have a way of supporting myself without a job yet. And, I haven’t looked into it very much, because I haven’t really needed to yet.

The big reason I want to go on this trip is because Thenix and I are going to look into becoming self-sufficient and digital nomads. Working on our own time and energy, doing what we like with our time and energy, making enough money to pay for travel and life.

Maybe my thoughts seem a little scrambled, that is because in reality, I haven’t figured myself out yet.

My world is getting smaller

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Photo attributed to flickr user MarilynJane

A quote to begin the post:

From Kathleen Kelly, You’ve Got Mail : Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around? I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.

I had a dream a few nights ago – I am observing an events ceremony, all the prefects of our high school are sitting there, in their new married selves, and clapping and laughing at the spectacle before them. I am not one of them. I had wanted to apply to be a prefect, but that would have meant speaking in public, in a crowd, that I feared greatly when I was a teenager. I regretted later that I didn’t apply, and in the dream, that regret came up. And then came another thought. What happened to all of those brave girls who were our leaders in our high school? All they talk about now are their families and husbands. What happened to them? The dream ends.

I spoke to a friend of mine about this dream – she’s pregnant and in that phase where her baby, her dog and her husband are all that matter in the universe. She doesn’t care about work, or about anything else really. She lamented about the fact, that she feels like she’s getting boring and her world is getting smaller. Then she said, that she feels that she is alright with it. What else matters on this planet besides the living beings in your life?

I loved her thought so much I thought I would share.

Decluttering includes people

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Photo attributed to flickr user Lamerie

I have been thinking about my decluttering, minimizing efforts so much so that I fear they are appearing in my dreams. I see an astray sneaker or a key out of place, and I move to put it in place even in my dreams. I was thinking about my decluttering effort, and talking to T about it and I realized that knowingly or unknowingly, I have finally begun the process of decluttering my friends. It is a mean thing to say, of course. People are valuable and they shouldn’t be categorized the same as things. But, I have realized that there are a lot of people in my life. Some contribute a lot to it, like my siblings and T, and some contribute nothing, but stress, like my parents, and a few of my friends.

My parents I’m kind of stuck with. But I wondered to myself, how can I reduce their influence on me and my stress levels? How can I ensure that they do not trigger every demon inside of me, and bring me to the point of depression and self-degradation, every single time I’m around them. The way millions of children do it every year is through separation. They separate themselves from the source of stress, they move out, they move to a different country, they leave the nest. That seems to work well for a lot of my friends. They have found that their relationship with their parents improved drastically when they moved out. It is as if distance does make the heart grow fonder. You forget all the ways your parents make you feel sad, and you just focus on their good qualities. Your parents don’t really do the same, but as you only meet with them once a week or month, or even year, the time span that they can make you feel like the stupidest and most unsuccessful person on this planet is fairly limited.

Another way I declutter through my people, is through friends. I have found that there are definitely friends in my circle who do not follow the same tenets of living as I do. I find that it is good to have a fairly varied circle of friends, to see how other people live, to learn from them, to remind yourself why you are living the way you are. It only gets to be a difficulty in anyway when you have friends who do not approve of the way you live your life or do the things you do. That is when you should seriously consider removing the weeds from the beautiful garden that you have cultivated.

You’ve worked so hard to declutter your life, removing possessions, thoughts, and any other items that you do not serve your purpose. You only want to keep the things you love the most. You only want to keep the best of the best. You have to remember that this applies to every part of your life. Even the people.

Journaling about my birthday

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Photo attributed to flickr user snowpeak

This is just a general thoughts kind of post. As usual on an important occasion, I paid more attention to the useless items than the useful ones. I was sitting at my desk at work on my birthday thinking to myself, they should have mandatory days off on birthdays, because birthday work days seem to last longer than any other day and you are really the most unproductive person on the team. After trying to do some work, I decided to ruminate on what I wanted from this day, and from my birthday shindig. What was the point of celebrating another year passing with all of the lovely folks that can bear to be my friends?

I spent way too much time thinking about what I would wear, what dress, shoes, bra, and how I would do my hair, if I should get a manicure or pedicure done, and other stupid stuff that in the end will not matter and will not count towards whether I enjoy my birthday or not. It will not matter when I am sitting with a close friend sharing food or drink, if my toenails are the right colour of pink or if my hair has no kinks in it or no fly-aways. It did have a lot of fly-aways in the end, and my toes were painted an odd color, the only colour I could find in my house, and none of it mattered.

Why did I think it would matter? Why did I spend so much of my time on this useless conversation in my head?

And then, the party itself. I spent way too much time worrying about the guests – they look bored, they look uncomfortable, they look out-of-place, they aren’t chatting with anyone else, they aren’t mingling, they aren’t eating or drinking, etc. Of course, it isn’t my responsibility to ensure any adult friend of mine has fun. It is their own responsibility to make that happen. But, I did waste a few minutes on that foolish endeavour.

Finally, I did something right at the end of the night. I felt pain in my neck still from the day, and instead of ignoring it, and dancing away the night, I told T, we are leaving early, I went home at 4am and passed out.

All in all, an amazing day, and I just couldn’t have asked for a better way to spend it. I spent it with amazing people, whom I’m honored to call friends, with amazing T, who just gets better and better every day, and in an amazing place in my life. Things are moving along, two steps forward, and one step back, isn’t a bad way to move forward at all.

Thank you for listening and Namaste!

Don’t squander the 168 hours you have this week

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Photo attributed to flickr user Roberto Verzo

I was calculating the number of hours in a week just for fun and how much time I spend sleeping (49), when I realized that 119 hours in a week is a very, very long time. I mean, that is a lot of hours when you think about it.

Even if you take off 45 hours for work that you put in – that is still 74 hours.

If you take off 5 hours a week for commuting – that is 69 hours.

Eating takes maybe 5 hours a week – 64 hours.

Washing, bathing and other bathroom duties could take 5 hours – 59 hours.

For me yoga is a major part of my life – each class takes up 2 hours with travel time and the class – I do 4 classes a week average – that is 8 hours – 51 hours.

Now obviously this is just a rough calculation – but with mistakes and missed appointments, that is still almost a full work week of hours, that is still 51 hours that you have to do with as you please.

That made me wonder, what do I do with those 51 hours? I mean, really, what do I accomplish with my weeks? What do I do with the bounty of time that has been given to me.

I do spend half an hour a day meditating – which is about 3 hours.

That leaves 48 hours. Wow, and that makes me realize I have no idea what I do with that time.

Spend time with the boyfriend and family – would take up about 10 hours.

38 hours. That is the black hole of 38 hours that I do not spend productively.

How do I plan to change that? That my friends is the million dollar question. I will have to ruminate on that one.

What do you think is missing?

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Photo attributed to flickr user LaPrimaDonna

Sometimes I talk to my friends about life and if we are going in the general direction of where we wish to go.  Why does that matter? Why do I ask myself that question every day?

Because I have this incessant need to make sure I don’t waste my time on Earth. I have been given this very precious gift, Life. It is in one of easiest countries in the world to live in, Canada. I am born into a reasonably well-off family who take care of me, who love me, who care about me. I am surrounded by amazing friends, people, and situations. I can travel. I have opportunity. I have freedom. I am lucky. Luckier than 90% of the world’s population. I feel like I have an obligation to this planet, to this life, to the world, to give back and to live a worthy life.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that I have to find the cure to cancer or remove world hunger. It doesn’t mean anything big. It just means that I have to be the best that I can be.

What does that mean? That is the question isn’t it. I mean, doesn’t it feel like there’s something missing from that statement. How do I know what is my best? There’s always improvements to be made. Today’s best could be tomorrow’s worst.

It is like the quote says, “ Today is the oldest you’ve been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.”

I know I am my best when I do a few things that I am doing everyday now, meditating, yoga, spending time with family and friends, saving up money to travel, travelling, and writing.

Is this all, I wonder? I mean, this is all I have to do? What is missing? How do I figure it out? Maybe nothing’s missing…. Maybe this is all I need to do to be the best I can be in this moment here. It might change in a year, but right now, I am good?

What do you think of being the best you are?

Who do you hang out with?

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Photo attributed to flickr user rubyblossom

I was speaking to a friend of mine, and she said the following:

If I get this job, it will be a huge lifestyle change. Even my interests will change, because I won’t have all day to be on Facebook and research all my conspiracy crap. I’ll have to wake up at 6, which I never do, and take the train for an hour one way, and work with very cosmopolitan people, and be in one of the most prestigious parts of the city. My wardrobe and attitude will change. Hopefully not in a bad way!

I started thinking about it and I realized that it was true for me as well. When I was working as a server, I spent all day watching TV, doing nothing useful with my time, I worked at night, so I never got a good night’s sleep, I always slept in till late, and I started drinking more than I normally did, I lost a lot of weight because I wasn’t eating properly, missing meals, and eating crap from the restaurant, gulping down food when I ran to the back to grab some other customer’s plates, I spent too much time partying, and not enough time planning, and my conversations were based on what other people did, not anything at a higher level.

When I joined this company, the people here spoke differently, more refined. I had to get up early, go to bed early, I had to dress conservatively, but properly, I had to make sure I was well groomed, I had to speak differently, I had more income and weekends off, so I had more time to spend with friends, and going out to events with family.

It really did matter in my life, who I was hanging out with, and how my attitude changed.

Same thing was with the friends I had in my life. Right now I am hanging out with some people who make much more money than I do, who are a bit more sophisticated in the way they view the world, they care about their appearance, they own homes, they have cottages, they go on vacations, they have dinners at fancy restaurants, and so on. Until I hung out with them, I didn’t realize how my life was different back then. Before them, the only outings I would have are going clubbing, I never went to restaurants much, I hung out with people who lived with their parents, so I didn’t have a space to go to and hang out with friends. We always spent time outdoors. Somewhere outdoors. Mostly they spent time drinking and getting drunk at bars.

My outlook on life and the way I spend my time has completely changed due to the friends that I spend my time with.

What do you think of the observation above?

Being Present in the Moment

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Photo attributed to flickr user derekadk

I was on the highway on the weekend, driving down to Niagara-on-the-lake to visit some of T’s friends. I was looking up at the clouds and I realized that instead of relaxing and enjoying the joyous summer ride, I was contemplating how it would be when we get to South America, and what we were going to eat.

But jokes aside, I was not present in the moment. That was in my mind a situation that requires further enquiry. I was thinking to myself why was I having a hard time being present in the moment? What was causing me to seek the future or the past, rather than being happy in the present moment?

And then I remembered what someone had said to me a few days ago, about my frustration with my yo-yoing mind-body connection, some days it’s strong, some days it’s gone. They said, it is not an on-off button. You can’t just flip a switch. Think of it as a gauge. A movement from strong to weak. A movement in the gray area, where it’s not black and it’s not white.

I was treating my body and my mind as if it were a piece of machinery.

I calmed myself down, and I closed my eyes, which is where I feel the most connected to myself. When I close my eyes, and I see darkness, I see the back of my eyelids, I see random shapes. I feel like I am connected to my mind, body and spirit. I closed my eyes on the weekend in the car, and I saw myself as I am here in this moment.

I tried to see how I felt about myself in the moment. Was I doing well? Was I doing everything I need to do in order to get to my goals? One or two items that I had been neglecting came up in my mind, so I put them aside to deal with during the week. But besides that, I felt like I was moving along. Nothing is ever perfect, but I felt like I am moving along.

What do you do to remain in the present moment?

I don’t belong here

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Photo attributed to flickr user rubyblossom

IT is almost the end of June. Yes, I can’t believe it either. It is absolutely insane how quickly time passes by. The clock that never seemed to move when I was a teenager, now seems to move at the speed of light. Every moment passes by without enough appreciation in my opinion. I am just a spectator sometimes. Yesterday, I went over to visit some friends, and while they spoke about things that were important to them, I sat there wondering when I had changed so much and when had they remained just the same. How could I have become this completely different person, and how did they not change at all from our university days? They spoke about purses and getting drunk, just the same as they did five years ago.

I felt so out of place. I was wondering in my head, if there was a parallel universe, where time had stood still, where there is a version of me, that is exactly the same, that doesn’t care about travelling and living a minimalistic life. Maybe there is a version of me, somewhere, who does care about purses and shoes, clothes and makeup, movies and gossip.

I am just in the wrong universe here.

Or, maybe they just haven’t caught up yet. They are still catching up. The world is changing at a rapid pace. I feel every day that the people around me are changing. They seem to be caring about the more important things in life, like family, friends, and dreams. Instead of money and pillaging the environment. The change is definitely in the air. It is coming. I feel it.

Do you ever feel like you don’t belong? How do you deal with that?

Minimizing relationships

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Photo attributed to Flickr user glasseyesview

The older I get, the more I realize that I have too much random, useless stuff in my life. We don’t actually need 4 pairs of nail-clippers in our house, but we have that many, because we don’t store our items properly, and we keep on losing and finding items in the mess of too much stuff in the house.

I have realized that if I had very little, and I stored it well, I wouldn’t have to worry about where everything is and how to find it. I wouldn’t spend hundreds of dollars buying items that I thought I had lost, and then having two or three of the same thing, because I have a messy, disorganized way of storing items.

Of course, this doesn’t only apply to things. But also to people. People aren’t disposable, of course. You hone your friendships from when you are very young. You find someone you can hang out with, who surprisingly likes hanging out with you as well. You spend more time with them and realize you have more and more things in common. Finally, after a certain period of time together, you realize you are meant to be friends forever. No matter what happens, you are going to be friends.

Then, you discover minimalism, yoga and the joys of long-term travel. You change from the inside. You are no longer the same person you were before. You are a hippie, according to everyone around you. You own very little, you spend very little, you spend all of your energies on travel and people, rather than stuff.

Little by little, you start losing the friendships that you had for eons. You are no longer cool enough to hang out with them. You no longer do the things they do. How can you spend time with these people, if their idea of hanging out includes watching a movie, or going shopping, two things you no longer involve yourself in?

Eventually, you lose contact with almost all of your friends from before, you are paring down. You are simplifying. You know that you will make friends with similar-minded people soon enough. You are busy enough as it is, with the people who think like you do. You are busy living life, rather than watching from the sidelines.

Simplifying doesn’t only include stuff, but of course, it includes relationships. Especially, when you have changed so much in the past few years. And unfortunately, your friends have stayed in the exact same spot.

The big question is, whether you are alright with losing some old friends, to gain some new ones?

Life is a strange, odd, discombobulated, mess of events

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I have realized one of the reasons I am doing the yoga and meditation. It is so I can get stronger and support the people who are around me. It is so I can be open enough that people can confide in me, when they are feeling pain and need someone.

It is so I can be there in service to the humanity that is around me. Sometimes we lose focus, because we realize we cannot do it all. We cannot be all things to everyone, we cannot change the world, we cannot remove hunger or war from the world. So if we can’t do that, what is the point of us doing anything at all? Right?

Well, those thoughts sometimes do debilitate me because I feel like nothing I am doing is useful, nothing I am doing is resulting in any major change, so why bother? Why bother with anything? I could just live a selfish life in my little pod and work only towards my own meagre happiness.

But we are all here for service to humanity in any shape, or form. It is the only thing that gives any satisfaction to anyone which lasts for a while.

I am realizing more and more that I do not need to go to the other end of the world, to change the world, to do my part.

I can do my bit right here at home, among friends and family, until I am sustainable enough to go out and do it on a larger scale.

All I need to do is listen with an open heart and be there for the people around me. There is so much suffering in everyone around us, a colleague having issues with her husband, a friend separating from a lover, a mother worried about her child, a man worried about the pressure of the world, a father worried about keeping up with the Joneses, a sister worried about a new job.

I have realized I am going to do my own bit by being there for everyone. Even if it is just a ten minute conversation here, a hug there, or a meal cooked anywhere.

How do you plan to do your part today or this month in your own community?

My friend, Amy and I

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Amy and I met on a bus on a cold August morning. We were both on this month-long Trek Adventures trip to go around Europe. I had never done such a major camping trip by myself and I was kind of nervous and excited at the same time. I looked around me and I saw all of these faces, on this cold morning, and I felt a little disheartened. I wondered if I would actually even be able to make friends with any of these people. It seemed unlikely. I saw the people take random seats on the bus, shuffling in, grumpily, due to the early hour. I had no one sitting next to me. I was at the window. The bus was big enough that we didn’t need to share seats. I noticed a girl with boots on walking into the bus. I liked her style. I wondered how she was able to carry additional shoes in her bag, as I was only able to bring two pairs of shoes, comfy shoes and flipflops. I would have loved to have my boots, but alas. I didn’t know how to pack then, and I don’t know how to pack now either.

I didn’t really chat with her, until we actually got to the ferry, to go across the English channel from England to France. I didn’t realize then that standing next to her, with the wind blowing across our hair, we would begin one of the most important friendships of our life. That was in August 2008, and it has been almost four years since that fortuitous day. I am glad I have her in my life, as is she.

We have been working on communicating with each other through the phone and through email, about our goals and how are we accomplishing things. She just came back from France and she is opening up her own dental practice.

Both of us have a lot to accomplish and a long way to go, but we are there for each other, which counts.

I just wanted to share the story of one of the many beautiful people I have in my life.

Do you have some friendships that developed from some random event?

Ask and you shall receive

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For the longest time, I didn’t believe in this quote. I didn’t think it was true. Why would anyone in the world, let alone the universe, give me something, just because I asked for it? It doesn’t make any sense.

I was, of course, working from the premise of a non-inclusive, cheap, selfish universe, which doesn’t care about anyone else except itself. Basically a human-oid universe. If the modern-day human had built the universe, it would be the universe I describe above, cheap, selfish, and non-giving.

Fortunately, we live in a universe that is abundant and flourishing. It is inside of you and it is all around you. It is fulfilling and filled with gratitude. It is beautiful and beneficent.

We live in a universe where you shall receive if you ask for it. You don’t necessarily have to be pure of heart or a virgin to ask, you just have to ask with the best of intentions and ask clearly. You are the one.

This is your life. What do you want your life to look like? Ask for it.

This is your body. What do you want your body to look like? Ask for it.

This is your relationship. What do you want your relationship to look like? Ask for it.

This doesn’t mean that you do not have to ever put any effort into anything. It doesn’t mean that everything will just be given to you, but it does mean that you will get you ask for, if you are clear, realistic and intentional about it.

How have I received things or situations I have asked for?

I needed my renter to stay on longer so I could save up more. She did.

I needed a new group of positive, amazing friends. I got it.

I wanted a relationship where the man would be my best friend. He came.

Try it today. Try asking for something. And see how quickly it arrives.

Accomplishments over the past year

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Okay, I have some thoughts to share with the universe and with my readers of course. I’m really happy with the way some of the thoughts I have been putting out in the universe have been received. They are getting accolades and that makes me very happy indeed. I just realized that I will be reaching the one year anniversary of my return from my trip abroad at the end of the month, April 26th. It is crazy how fast time has passed. It feels like just yesterday that I was on a beach in Goa with Ritz, just chilling and getting burnt. And now its been a year since that event, more than a year, and yet, it feels like moments have passed.

I was thinking about last year, and what I have accomplished in that year, and I feel proud of myself. I have managed to put in almost 15k into my loan repayment, without actually having a full-time job, which in itself is an amazing accomplishment, I must say. I have this feeling inside of me, oh, I cannot pay off my loans, unless I have a full-time job. That is a stupid feeling, a weird feeling, an unnecessary feeling, and that is the reason, I do not believe in it anymore. I do not need to have a full-time job or a high-paying job to pay off my debts. I am doing great the way I am going at it right now. In one more year, I should be almost at the end of the debt-paying journey, which is kind of a feat, I believe with a server position part-time that too.

I have made some great new friends, Carly, Michelle, Zina, Tom, Anna, and I have made friends with a politician in my backyard which is nice. I have learned a lot about politics and gotten involved in my community. I have read at least a hundred books in the past year. I have gone out a great deal and partied it up in my twenties, as I wished it to be. I have been going to yoga since I came back from my trip, so I have been going to yoga constantly without any breaks for about a year. I have taken a bartending lesson, which helped me with my getting a physical, movement job. I have been spending more time with my family and loved ones, which is nice.

I have been using cash only for the past six months, and using my credit cards only for rare online purchases.  The cash is king idea is so helpful to people in debt. It has helped cut down my spending by 80%. I feel uncomfortable now putting anything on my credit or debit card. I use only cash that I have on me. I don’t even carry my cards with me anymore, they sit at home in my purse. I have cut down on my personal belongings. I have given away all the clothes I do not use, and I have cut down my cosmetic jewelery garbage by giving that away to a craftsperson. My life feels less cluttered, in every way possible. I have cut down as well on the number of activities that I say yes to. If I feel too overwhelmed I just say no. I do not try to do everything.

I have finished writing my first book about my travels abroad. I have grown my hair so it looks nice. I am in the best shape of my life with yoga and eating healthy. I am learning more about where my food comes from to figure out whats in it. I have been using fewer chemicals in my home and body, less product, and less cosmetics. More natural. The only product I really use is eyeliner. I use a natural eye cream, cocoa butter for my body lotion, aveeno naturals for my face morning and night, and lipbalm. I use natural coconut oil for my hair to make it soft and condition it.

Looking back, I feel good about this year and what I have accomplished in it.  Onto the next year and a lot more good stuff to come.