One of the things that I was thinking really hard about was living an authentic life. I do not want to live a life dictated by society or others as much as possible, I would like to live a life that I want to live, you know.
So every moment of everyday I am asking myself is this bringing me closer to an authentic life. Is this action moving me forward or bringing me backward?
I want to focus my efforts towards bringing more yoga, and meditation into my life – because the more I focus on myself, physically and mentally, the more I feel myself coming into my own.
I am trying to get up at 4am every morning, and going to sleep at 9pm, so I can do some yoga or meditation in the morning. Lets see how that works out, I will modify it if it gets too strenuous. I find the morning hour to be when I work best, so I like getting up, doing some journaling, some yoga and meditation and doing a bit of reading, while I eat breakfast, after I shower and wear something pretty and funky.
I want to eventually become a travelling yoga instructor for a while – that is what my efforts right now are concentrated towards. I have already bought my real-estate – I want to focus my finances towards savings and retirement. Savings are going to be used for travel – when I leave for my next one to two year stint abroad.
I am going to teach as much yoga as I can in the next months, and I am still debating over whether I want to get a second job, so I can make some extra cash and save that as well. I find that I need my weekends to recuperate, so I would rather not put too much on my plate.
I am going to Burning Man, in August with some amazing people I met and made friends with in Thailand, absolutely great. Excited about that.
I want to go on a trip with my sister, to the grand canyon, because she’s leaving to Ottawa in August, I want to spend some quality time with her.
I have bought a digital voice recorder, a used one, and I am going to start recording some of my thoughts on there, and then, maybe put them on paper, see if I can publish them online somewhere in some yoga or spiritual journal.
Family and friends are definitely going to be a ongoing focus.
But also, I am going to majorly focus on myself, in terms of pampering myself – massages, buying a nice piece of clothing (something really different and long-lasting) one item per month, taking bubble baths, etc. I find that I have been giving too much of myself, which is causing me to be depleted and rundown and that is showing in my face with dark circles and I dont like it. I want to concentrate on myself and nurturing myself, with good food, not missing meals, eating well and healthy, eating every few hours to keep energy up, drinking smoothies with chia seeds in it.
I also want to start living creatively – dressing differently from what I always just put on, trying to meet a different kind of people, doing things differently in dating, not saying no to the guys I would normally say no to, not having rigid rules about random matters that I have in my head.
I have read some amazing books, and I want to keep on with that, but not just read, actually apply one item from each book into my life, so that I am actually using that knowledge, not just putting it in my head.
There’s some other stuff in my head – about being more connected to my body, my emotions and feelings. I feel like I am totally disconnected from my emotions and from reality, especially when it comes to being in relationships. I discount the reality of matters, and just focus on the love that I feel for the person. Nothing else matters anymore. That is something that will take a few tries to work out, but thats something I want to focus on.
I feel a lot of energy surging through my body due to the trip to the yoga retreat in Thailand, and I want to keep that up, by associating with people with the same aspirations as me, and removing negative influences from my life.
I want to also improve communications with my family – I feel like everything I do is so contradictory to what they want from their life, that I never talk to them about anything – but I want to try and change that slowly. I am totally disconnected from them as well. I spend too much time in my head, I want to spend more time in the physical world, in my body, in my environment, in my family relationships as well as my friends’ relationships.