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The Scariest Moment Is Always Just Before You Start

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The Scariest Moment Is Always Just Before You Start

Photo Attributed to Thenix

(The name of this post is a quote by Stephen King – the master of creating fear in his readers).

Thenix and I are afraid – we are feeling the fear of the unknown. We are excited to be leaving for this adventure of a lifetime, but we are also feeling the fear that comes along with it. There are just so many unknown parameters that we are dealing with at the moment, and will be dealing with on the trip, that it gets a bit overwhelming sometimes. Why are we still going ahead with this even if it scares us beyond recognition?

Other people have told you what dreams you should have, but we have dreams of our own that we are going to pursue. That is why we are going on the trip, inspite of the fear. Our dreams are too strong, too empowering. They have a hold on us and our motivations, and they just don’t let go. We think about them every moment of every day.

Fear is something that will try to hold you back. That is just normal. You are going to feel afraid whenever you take something new on. You are going to try and prepare for all the unknowns, but you are always going to miss some random eventuality.

Wouldn’t it just be easier to stay at home, go to work and not worry about such a big undertaking? Wouldn’t it be easier to just dream about doing something like this, and never actually do it? Wouldn’t it be easier to live vicariously through our friends and family members who are doing something like this? There are a million different ways to live, but only two ways to go about it. Fearfully living your life – restricting everything you do because of that fear. Or, fearfully living your life – and doing everything anyway knowing that the outcome will make you stronger.

Fear is common. It is normal. It is the result of millions of years of evolution. It is the voice of reason in your head. The voice that wants you to think twice and make sure that what you are doing is worth it and that you are as prepared as you can be. The point of this blog post is to make everyone realize – we are as afraid as you are to go on and live our dreams. But we are going ahead with this even though we feel the fear. You have to. If you wish to have no regrets at your deathbed.

If you haven’t heard of the Big Trip yet, you are in for a treat. Boom and Thenix are travelling to the southern most tip of South America, through the West Cost of US, Mexico and parts of South America and back up the East Coast. We are planning on leaving on or around June 21st. We have made a detailed budget for the trip and we have included it here  for those of you who are curious about how much a trip like this would cost. We will travel for a total of 50,000 kms to around 22 countries. If you have any other questions about the trip please see our post on The Big Trip.

Who Are You Without A Work Identity?

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Who Are You Without A Work Identity?

Photo Attributed to Thenix

When you do yoga you are asked to drop the facade. The facade of what you think you are. You are not your body, your mind, or your employee number. You do not have an identity. Your true self is pure, without any real identity associated with it. It is only our ego that attaches random identities to ourselves. We are whatever we decide to be.

A lot of us in the modern world have our identities associated to our work. It is normal to be like that as we spend a majority of our lives at work. Everything we do is associated to the way we work. Our friends, our free time, the way we dress or speak, and anything else you can think of. What happens when you leave a typical work environment for a year or more?
Think about the standard way of introducing yourself or the standard questions someone new asks you – what is your name, and what do you do? When I first met Thenix on Khao San Road in Bangkok, I introduced myself as a Yoga Instructor. I did that because my true self felt more attracted to the Yoga Instructor identity – I felt more at peace with that persona. When he found out that I have a day job as a Marketing Coordinator and that I have an MBA, it came as a shock to him. The problem in this world is that most people do not know what they want to be; they do not know what their dreams are; they only identify with their current job.
If Thenix was asked who he is, he would say he is a developer, because that is what he is. This is what he does for a day job and it’s what he does as a hobby. Myself, I’ve switched goals, this time around when someone asks me who I am while travelling I will be saying that I am a travel blogger. We are both moving towards being free to be who we wish to be. We are not living by someone else’s rules.
If you haven’t heard of the Big Trip yet, you are in for a treat. Boom and Thenix are travelling to the southern most tip of South America, through the West Cost of US, Mexico and parts of South America and back up the East Coast. We are planning on leaving on or around June 21st. We have made a detailed budget for the trip and we have included it here  for those of you who are curious about how much a trip like this would cost. We will travel for a total of 50,000 kms to around 22 countries. If you have any other questions about the trip please see our post on The Big Trip.

How To Spend Time Unregulated By Work?

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How To Spend Time Unregulated By Work?

Photo Attributed to Thenix

We were speaking to a good friend of Thenix’ and she made a comment that struck both of us really hard. We were both surprised by the sentiment behind it and the validity of her claim. She said, ‘I don’t think I would be able to do a trip like this for a whole year. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself without the stress and time regulated hours of work.’

At first, we all laughed, because it is funny to think you cannot live without the stress of a job. Everyone always speaks about how they hate their jobs, as they cause them stress. But this individual truthfully pointed out that she wouldn’t be able to live without it.

From the time, we are born, our time is regulated for us by parents, teachers, and bosses. We go from daycare, to school, to university, to careers. We are always busy for the 9-5 period, either studying or working. We do not have to think about our  work schedule, because we know we will have something to do as delineated by our bosses.

Because our time is so strictly regulated, we are busy helping someone else fulfill their dreams. It might be a corporation or an individual, whose dream we are helping. People do not know what their dreams are anymore. All their lives, they have been told by others, what their dreams should be. They have given up on dreaming. Have you ever thought about what you would do if you were free to do anything?

Think about what you would do if you won a million dollars. Everyone always comes up with the ideas of paying their debt or their bills. But what about after that? What about the rest of your life? Do you want to travel? Or volunteer? Or start your own business? What would the business be about? The person who made the comment above, hasn’t thought about their dreams. They need the security of a job, because without it, they would have no idea how to spend their time.

On this trip, we will have the freedom to do what we want. We are not running away from work. We are grateful for our jobs – without them and the money we made from them, we wouldn’t be able to do this trip. But we want more control over our time, to live out our dreams.

If you haven’t heard of the Big Trip yet, you are in for a treat. Boom and Thenix are travelling to the southern most tip of South America, through the West Cost of US, Mexico and parts of South America and back up the East Coast. We are planning on leaving on or around June 21st. We have made a detailed budget for the trip and we have included it here  for those of you who are curious about how much a trip like this would cost. We will travel for a total of 50,000 kms to around 22 countries. If you have any other questions about the trip please see our post on The Big Trip.

5 Things I Learned From My Dreams

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5 Things I Learned From My Dreams

Photo Attributed to flickr user beckstei

I have been following my dreams for about 2 years now – it isn’t any formal way in which I follow them. I just try to remember what happened in my dreams the previous night and analyze it using Dreammoods. Every day some new insight comes to me from analyzing what my subconscious is thinking about. All of us spend a lot of our waking hours analyzing what is going on in our environment, in our relationships and in our life in general. But what about 1/3rd of your life that is spent in sleep? If you wish to get a complete picture of your doubts, fears, dreams, and hopes, you must spend some time analyzing your dreams.

Here are five things that I have learned from meandering through the foggy streets of my dreams:

1.       Nothing is ever certain – many of my dreams are spent looking for someone, or something. But in the end, it doesn’t matter if I find them or not. The important part is the search. In the end, the search always results in some kind of learning.

2.       If you go up or down, it indicates you are going into your subconscious or higher realms of consciousness. Look at how you feel when you go up or down. Does it scare you or excite you? Is there a reason you do not wish to go deeper into your meditation – maybe you do not want to explore the deeper recesses of your mind?

3.       I am surprised at how much detail I can remember if I really put my mind to it. When you wake up, stop for a breath or two. Do not move, and try to recollect as much of your dream as you can. Even the tiniest detail means something.

4.       Notice who’s perspective you are seeing the dream from. Is it you who’s performing the acts in your dream or are you watching other people play things out? This is a reflection of how you are in real life. If you watch others live their dreams out or if you actually live your own dreams.

5.       Notice the emotions that come up as different items are displayed to you by your subconscious. If you feel fear or doubt or anxiety with regards to something, think about why. Why does that object bother you so much? What is it about it that makes you feel emotional? Maybe it signifies something else, but still think about the deeper reason why.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. I’m sure there are other important insights that are coming my way soon. I will just have to wait for them. Maybe I’ll see you in my dreams tonight. We can journey through our subconscious together. Maybe even do some lucid dreaming…

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Time Slips Away

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Puerto Madero, South America

Photo Attributed to Thenix

Have you found yourself using the words ‘I don’t have time‘ very often as you get older? You might find time slips by faster and faster when your silken hands. I find myself agreeing with those words until I decided to do a time audit on my own usage of time. I sat down one day and marked down the amount of time I spent doing whatever I was doing. At the end of the day when I looked through just one day of time usage, I was kind of ashamed.

Every person on this planet has 24 hours in their day. Just like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet have 24 hours in a day, so do you and your neighbourhood dry-cleaner. I’m sure there are people in your circle who seem to accomplish a lot more with their set of 24 then do you. And vice versa. What do they do differently? In my case, I know where my time slips away to. It isn’t never-never land, but to the wasteful land of FaceBook, Pinterest, and dreaming about travelling.

I spend at least three hours a day in these useless pursuits. The first two are apparent in their uselessness, but you might say dreaming is useful. It prods you to do things to get those dreams going. Dreaming about travelling doesn’t cause me to get motivated, but causes me to get dissatisfied with the current state of affairs, and gets me demotivated to the point where I have to work really hard to get back on the motivation horse. That is wasted time that could have been used for something more useful like sleep, rest, reading, dancing, working, or whatever else rocks your boat.

Stop using the words ‘I don’t have time’ and start thinking about where your time is going. If you find that after a time audit, you are satisfied on how you spend your time, I commend you. Then, you will no longer be able to use the words ‘I don’t have time’, but you would say, ‘I’m choosing to spend my time doing something other than what you are recommending I do’. Choice in the way you use your time is much more pleasant then time slipping away unknowing to you.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to BrownVagabonder and connect with me on Twitter or like me on FaceBook.

Slowing Things Down

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Photo attributed to flickr user ecstaticist

Photo attributed to flickr user ecstaticist

I was walking to my car a few days ago, balancing my handbag in one hand, my keys in the other, and my phone on my ear against my shoulder. I was trying to do too much and a second later, I heard my VOSS waterbottle fall to the ground in a sickening shatter. I looked down and saw the remains of my beloved much used bottle, and I stopped. I told the person on the phone to hold on, I put my purse on the ground and I stilled myself for a second. I stopped, and looked around at the quiet night.

I realized this was a sign from the universe, that I was doing too much too fast. I needed to slow down, be patient, and realize that everything will get done in its own time, slowly but surely. Nothing can be hurried along, without leading to its detriment. I had to slow down, but I didn’t want to. I already felt pressured by time that moves too fast, so I hurried. I felt panicked, and stressed. I felt my heart beat erratically, up one minute, down the next. That night when I went to sleep, I knew that I really needed the night’s rest. Those six hours were packed with the most erratic, vivid dreams, I have had in a while, and in all of them, I was looking for something, searching for something, not finding it, and stressing myself about it.

The next day, I took the time to do things slowly, I took the time to have a cup of tea, even when I felt that those ten minutes could be spent better working, I took the time to eat lunch away from my desk, I took the time to play a few games and watch some comedy on TV, and most importantly, I took the time for some much needed yoga. I felt relaxed and rejuvenated, but only because I worked at it.

It might seem counterintuitive to slow down, when all your mind is telling you to do is hurry up, but that’s what your body and mind need the most at that time. First of all, if you are in that stressed state of mind, you are definitely going to make mistakes, and that will cause you to need twice the amount of time you would need normally. Secondly, nothing at work or in your family is worth your health. Isn’t it more important that you slow down, chill out, and take care of yourself, rather than get that bonus at work, or listen to what your parents want you to do? Nothing is more important or more precious than your own health. You cannot take care of anything or anyone else if you aren’t well yourself.

Learning to slow down should be one of the first lessons that we learn as adults, but it is unfortunately, usually the last. No matter what your age, learn to relax, and you will be automatically able to increase your lifespan and health.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to BrownVagabonder and connect with me on Twitter.

What happens as you get older?

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Photo attributed to flickr user Fitz C.

I find that I have been surrounded by a lot of people in their 50s and 60s in the past few weeks, as I have family over from India, and family friends over from Qatar. They are all amazing individuals who have worked hard to do the things they need to do, to get their children the best education and easiest lifestyle possible. They are the typical hardworking Indian parents. They put their children first and themselves even below last.

I have been thinking about this for the past two or three weeks since they started staying with us. I noticed how they never smile, and how their body language indicates defeat. Their shoulders are drooping downwards and forwards, and they are hunched over themselves, as if they were trying to protect themselves. I was wondering to myself, is this what people look forward to? Is this why people work so hard all of their lives, so they can enjoy the benefits of it never? So they can mangled in their old age, and be too tired to do anything fun?

Do older people get this way because of broken dreams and dashed hopes? Is it because they haven’t fulfilled their dreams from days gone by? Or were they hoping for a different life that never came? Is this what we all have to look forward to?

I know this post seems depressing, but I think it is extremely important to learn from the people around you. And I am choosing to take the lessons from their lives, and resolve not to repeat the mistakes. I have to resolve to follow my dreams, and my path, and not falter. That is the key in my mind. It is when people give up on their dreams in the moment, to do something and postpone that dream to the far-away future, I think that’s when people start losing hope in life.

If you do not have your dreams, you have nothing, in my opinion. You need the dreams in your life to keep on moving and dancing.

Increasing core strength leads to strength of character

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Flickr photo attributed to slimdandy

You might notice that I have talking a bit about a strong core and how it leads to a high energy and highly efficient body.

The more I learn about myself, the more I learn that I have a problem with personal power. Which is to say, I give up my personal power very easily. I give it up, or at least, I used to give it up to everyone around me, without even thinking about it. It was something I did that was normal for me.

For example, I gave up my personal power to the men I dated. They had the power in the relationship, and I didn’t think anything of it. It was the way it was for me. It was one of the myths that I perpetuated in my head. I gave up my personal power in my job, by not speaking up when I need to speak up, creating the illusion that I am meek, and that my opinions don’t count. I gave up my personal power in my family, by not standing up for my goals and dreams, and by demeaning what I want, by putting everyone else ahead of me, and agreeing with them, when they say that my goals/dreams are stupid or unrealistic.

All of this leads to a disbelief in self. Your Self grows weaker. It becomes meek. It loses power. It doesn’t believe in itself anymore. You do not follow through on your goals and dreams. Why would you? They don’t matter, just like you don’t matter.

I have found though, that the more yoga I do, the more core strengthening exercises I do, the stronger my core gets, the more personal power I build. It is odd to me when I think about it, because the more I know about my body, the more I realize the strong connection between body and mind. If you wish to change something in your body, change something in your mind and the change in your body will follow. And vice versa.

The stronger my core gets, the better I get in standing up for myself at work, home, or outside. The better I get with my relationships, because I am not just a meek individual, receiving energy, but a strong individual giving and receiving energy. The stronger my core, the better I get at my job, because I believe in my decisions and I believe in myself. I know I am a capable individual and I prove it, by doing a great job.

The stronger my core, the more I believe in my goals and dreams, the more I work towards them, the more fulfilled I feel, enhancing my life in more ways than possible.

I know I am touting this as a magic pill that cures all. It might not work for all. But for me, in my life, it has worked. And it keeps on working. I am stronger, more confident, and have more belief in myself than ever. And it is all due to some muscles in my core. J

What do you think of the connection between increased personal power and a strong core?

Read more on my blog post about a strong core here.

Dreams – recurring drowning

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I have been dreaming again and again that I am drowning, and then I push out of the water and am safe. It’s as if nothing has happened. The following is what www.dreammoods.com says about it:

To dream that you are drowning indicates that you are feeling overwhelmed by emotions. Repressed issues may be coming back to haunt you. You may be proceeding too quickly in trying to discover your subconscious thoughts. You should proceed more cautiously and slowly. If your survive the drowning, then it means that a waking relationship or situation will ultimately survive the turmoil.

I am wondering if that was the relationship with my girlfriend who’s wedding it was that I was worried about.

Dream Sunday night

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When I fell asleep Sun night, I dreamt that there was a black shadow on me, suffocating me, I felt smothered. And I kept on hearing call me, call this number, and it was T who was saying it. I woke up and realized that maybe T being so tired driving back home, maybe he wasn’t well or something. I called him instantly. He told me the following.

I think I know why you had that dream, besides the fact that you saw me tiered. Right about the time you had the dream I was on the Gardner in the middle lane, and the guy to my left started drifting towards me… I got a bit of a scare and then I thought I was imaging it… I let him pass me… and sure enough, I was not imaging it, he was drifting in between lanes quite badly… at some point he was literally driving in 2 lanes. In any case I got home safe and sound :) Thank you for the phone call.
I believe that I am connecting more and more to the source, the more I listen to my intuition, the more meditation and yoga I do, the better connected I am, the clearer are the signs, the subtleties disappear slowly.

Medium

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I admit I love the show Medium. It is about this lady who sees souls and ghosts in her dreams. It is scary but I somehow like the idea that we do not disappear. We are still here after we die. Making sure that justice is followed. That our loved ones are taken care of.
I know that I would freak out completely if I saw anyone like that in my dreams. I would die of fright.

Coincidences (I think so)

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I have to share with you what just happened with me. It just proves to me, the mystical nature of the world, and I believe more and more that we need to live a spiritual life in order to experience all thats around us.

I had a dream last night with my ex in it. He came in two of my dream sequences in one night, oddly enough. He was very insistent in those dreams, trying to get my attention. I got up today with the vivid memory of the dreams, which rarely happens, especially since I was exhausted yesterday from the 2 hour hike. Walking to work, I realized that I need to put my ego aside and need to call my ex, to ensure that we can still be friends, so that I dont have any blockages in my future relationship due to a block on my previous relationship. So I called him and left a voicemail.

Two hours later, I receive an msn message from him. We started cyber-chatting and he said, he had a dream about me last night and thats why he messaged me. I clarified, Did you not get my VM? He said, what VM? I was stunned.

We both had had dreams about each other in the same night and had reached out to the other, after 4 months of no contact. That is the power of coincidence and following your dreams and following your intuition. I am glad we had a chat, I am glad, I followed my intuition and I know that I made the right decision.

Craziness!

Dreaming

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I am obsessed with my dreams. I want to know what they mean, what my subconscious is trying to tell me. What are you trying to tell me by putting all of these obscure people in my dreams? I usually get up in the morning and then I lie in bed for a bit, thinking about my dreams and trying to figure out exactly what they mean.

Some dreams are pretty obvious. Like, I am dreaming about being late for a flight, and then forgetting all my bags at home, and having to run back home to grab the stuff I forgot to take with me. I do not understand why I am dreaming about it a month before I am actually supposed to go on the trip, but still, it is pretty obvious that I am worried about my trip, and worried about packing everything that I need for it. Easy peasy!

But then I had this dream where I was working in a team, with all of these people that I have known throughout my life, some from high school and some from my previous job. One by one, each of them started leaving to go on a trip. Until I was the only one left on the team along with my boss. Everyone else had gone. And then I was worried about how I would leave, if I was the only one that was left behind, it would be rude to tell my boss, Sorry I gotta go. Maybe I am worried about telling my boss that I am leaving, and I am worried about how she will take it?

But what about the dreams where you dream about people who you haven’t seen in seven or eight years. I dreamt about this girl with whom I went on a trip with a long time ago, to Cancun, Mexico. I haven’t seen this girl, or talked about her, or heard about her in eight years. And then she comes in a dream of mine, out of the blue, completely out of the blue. What is that about? I dont get it. I am totally confused. Why is she in my dream? What is my subconscious trying to say?