What happens as you get older?

Photo attributed to flickr user Fitz C.

I find that I have been surrounded by a lot of people in their 50s and 60s in the past few weeks, as I have family over from India, and family friends over from Qatar. They are all amazing individuals who have worked hard to do the things they need to do, to get their children the best education and easiest lifestyle possible. They are the typical hardworking Indian parents. They put their children first and themselves even below last.

I have been thinking about this for the past two or three weeks since they started staying with us. I noticed how they never smile, and how their body language indicates defeat. Their shoulders are drooping downwards and forwards, and they are hunched over themselves, as if they were trying to protect themselves. I was wondering to myself, is this what people look forward to? Is this why people work so hard all of their lives, so they can enjoy the benefits of it never? So they can mangled in their old age, and be too tired to do anything fun?

Do older people get this way because of broken dreams and dashed hopes? Is it because they haven’t fulfilled their dreams from days gone by? Or were they hoping for a different life that never came? Is this what we all have to look forward to?

I know this post seems depressing, but I think it is extremely important to learn from the people around you. And I am choosing to take the lessons from their lives, and resolve not to repeat the mistakes. I have to resolve to follow my dreams, and my path, and not falter. That is the key in my mind. It is when people give up on their dreams in the moment, to do something and postpone that dream to the far-away future, I think that’s when people start losing hope in life.

If you do not have your dreams, you have nothing, in my opinion. You need the dreams in your life to keep on moving and dancing.

Dancing through the wind

I love to dance. I absolutely love it. I mean, moving in any way is appealing to me. I like it. I love it. I want to be dancing all of my life away.

Some would say I am a dreamer.

It’s like that quote from John Lennon – “When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”

I want to be a dancer. That is what I want to be. Not professionally in any way, because I find that too restrictive. I just want to be a dancer in the daily sense of the word. I want to dance the days away. Dancing doesn’t only mean going to a club and boogeying to a great beat, or participating in a ballroom dancing competition. Dancing means to me moving gracefully, ethereally, through the wind. Moving through the world with a sense of participation. Participating in life in general. Being present in the moment.

Dancing in the wind.

“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one.”

John Lennon

Dreams – recurring drowning

I have been dreaming again and again that I am drowning, and then I push out of the water and am safe. It’s as if nothing has happened. The following is what www.dreammoods.com says about it:

To dream that you are drowning indicates that you are feeling overwhelmed by emotions. Repressed issues may be coming back to haunt you. You may be proceeding too quickly in trying to discover your subconscious thoughts. You should proceed more cautiously and slowly. If your survive the drowning, then it means that a waking relationship or situation will ultimately survive the turmoil.

I am wondering if that was the relationship with my girlfriend who’s wedding it was that I was worried about.

Dream Sunday night

When I fell asleep Sun night, I dreamt that there was a black shadow on me, suffocating me, I felt smothered. And I kept on hearing call me, call this number, and it was T who was saying it. I woke up and realized that maybe T being so tired driving back home, maybe he wasn’t well or something. I called him instantly. He told me the following.

I think I know why you had that dream, besides the fact that you saw me tiered. Right about the time you had the dream I was on the Gardner in the middle lane, and the guy to my left started drifting towards me… I got a bit of a scare and then I thought I was imaging it… I let him pass me… and sure enough, I was not imaging it, he was drifting in between lanes quite badly… at some point he was literally driving in 2 lanes. In any case I got home safe and sound :) Thank you for the phone call.
I believe that I am connecting more and more to the source, the more I listen to my intuition, the more meditation and yoga I do, the better connected I am, the clearer are the signs, the subtleties disappear slowly.

You dont have to go it alone

What is this urge inside modern human beings to go it all alone? Why do we feel like we alone are carrying the burden of everything on our shoulders? Why do have a hard time accepting any kind of help from any other mortal? What is wrong with the scenario, where we believe we are the only ones experiencing a certain kind of dilemma, when thousands others are probably in the same situation as you?

I am the prime example of the go it alone human being. I have this need to do everything by myself. Why should I ask for help? That will just make me seem weak and no one wants that, do they? Some examples of when I should ask for help, but dont, are

- when I am applying for jobs, asking others for references or asking them to give your resume out to the HR person in their company is a good move.

- when I am dealing with  a bad relationship filled with trauma and heartbreak, the best thing to do in such a situation is go to your friends and pour all your anger, frustration, sadness out.

- when I am dealing with a bully at work, the best thing to do is talk to your boss, and the people around you to see what they think you should do, just the fact that you are spreading the word about the stupid bully could make them stop.

- when I have an ailment that is kind of embarrassing, the best thing to do is to talk to someone, a doctor, a specialist, your girlfriends, and most importantly, your mother, there is a chance they have been through something similar to you, they could tell you better what is going on than the internet.

- when you have a big event in your life coming up, like a beauty pageant, or a convocation, telling your loved ones is the best thing to do, you get thousands of hours of support from them, you get monetary support if you need it, without asking, and if you need any other help, they will mobilize their friends and their friends’ friends to ensure you get what you want.

- when you have a dream that you have been harboring for a long time, but you are afraid to talk about it, because it seems too big, bigger than anything you have ever dreamed, impossible in its bigness. That is the time, you bring in the big guns, your family, your siblings, your friends, your supporters, the people who will support you through thick and thin, you will be there for you when your audition or your dance off doesn’t go as planned. You need them there, do not go at it alone.

These are just some of the examples of when you shouldn’t go at it alone, I’m sure there are others like weddings, pregnancies, abortions, illness, emergencies, and so on. Remember – DO NOT GO AT IT ALONE, Rally your supporters and you will come out stronger for it.

Affluenza

I love this new term that I discovered. I didn’t know that they even had a term for what I have been noticing among my fellow colleagues and other people around my city.

The term means the following:
Af-flu-en-za n. 1. The bloated, sluggish and unfulfilled feeling that results from efforts to keep up with the Joneses. 2. An epidemic of stress, overwork, waste and indebtedness caused by dogged pursuit of the American Dream. 3. An unsustainable addiction to economic growth. 4. A television program that could change your life.

PBS has a television show on it, called Affluenza.

The reason I love the term so much is because it is so true. People are stressing themselves out, working unnecessarily hard to buy things, to show other people how rich they are. But because they are so busy working, they really do not have a chance to enjoy the stuff they buy or the money they make. It is a sad cycle, which makes me think, that the sales of Prozac and Valium wouldn’t have gone up, if this cycle wasn’t so predominant on our planet.

I especially like the 1st definition, which highlights the sluggish and unfulfilled feeling that you get from not being able to keep up with Joneses. This feeling is really predominant in our generation, because we are watching our parents go through that exact same struggle, and we wonder why they are doing what they are doing. It makes me question why I am doing what I am doing, and do I really want to repeat the same cycle that my parents have gone through.

I watch a lot of people while I am in my transit through to work, and I see all of these people who should be retired, or semi-retired, because they are at that age, but it seems that they are still working, to keep up with their credit card payments, just because they have nothing to show for 30 years of full-time work. How can that be? How can you work for 30 years, and have nothing to show for it? That kind of waste just makes me a little sick to my stomach.

Shouldn’t the point of all of this working, be so you can save up and retire or leave the workforce, and be able to live out your dreams?

I read on MoneyMonk, that people are always living two lives, one is the life that are living and the other is the life they want to live. The dream life and the real life. That really makes me sad, because everyone dreams about living their life someway or another, but a majority of the people do not get to live the life that they wish to live. The ones who are lucky to be able to live their dream life, shouldn’t get distracted by all the consumerism and all the climb the corporate ladder chatter. It is all just chatter, and it will take you away from your real goal, which should always be to live your dream life. And of course, be happy.