Home » 2010 » May

Monthly Archives: May 2010

Dancing

Posted on by | Leave a comment

If you knew me in real life, you would realize that I am a real freak, but on top of that, you would realize that I LOVE to dance. Absolutely love! I would dance everyday of the week, in random places, in random ways, if I could. But I do not do that. I do that in a civilized way at a club like the people of my generation. We get dressed up and we go dancing in an assigned location, with other people who either love to dance as well, or are really, really inebriated, so they dont really care that they are actually moving their bodies inappropriately in front of hundreds of people. Thats one of the fun parts of dancing as well, you get to see a lot of real-life slapstick comedy right in front of you. And if you do not drink, then you can actually enjoy it, cos’ you will be sober enough to appreciate all the comedy thats unfolding around you.

I also look younger for my age, at least 5 years younger, which is really great, if you think about it, I really shouldn’t complain about it, cos I will miss that when I’m older. But it does result in guys who are 5 years younger than me, hitting on me, and guys who are my age, think I’m too young for them. That causes a bit of a problem. A big problem. Right now, I like younger guys, because they are funner, they like to dance, they like to party, which is fine with me, but I will eventually need to find a man who’s going to be my age, and interested in more than a fun night. Sure, I wont find my dream man in a club in the middle of nowhere, but still, its just an example of what happens in the bigger spectrum of my life, outside the club.

It is really hard for people to impress me, which is horrible, considering why should people have to impress me, I’m nobody, no one should have to impress me. But it makes sense, because if you look at it from the other end, people are always really impressed by me, the minute they meet me and have a short conversation with me. It is kind of crazy, I will be thinking, I haven’t done anything with my life, what are you impressed by? But why to sell myself short, thats what I do, and I’m trying to get away from that.

In the end, I just want to say I love to dance, and even if my friends, my age, think they are too old to go out dancing, and they would rather sit in a bar or at home and drink until they are shitfaced and go sleep, I think I would rather keep on dancing until I can, until I no longer can. I love it and I am sticking to it. I just need to find some dance partners. Hmm.

Wheezyrider

Posted on by | 2 Comments

I was reading the newspaper today, which is a weird thing for me, I never do that. I decided to spend some time in the morning outside in the beautiful weather, and dragged along the 50 pound newspaper that is filled with stuff that I would never read, but I’m guessing they are there for a reason, I mean, someone must read them. Its just such a waste of paper and trees. Oh well.

Anyway, I was reading the newspaper and I saw a piece in there, about a couple who went around the world, 37 countries in 2 years, on a motorbike. And I was instantly hooked, I love travelling and anything about travelling I love to read. I love seeing the passion and fire back in people’s eyes, after they have completed a journey around the world, they look like renewed human beings, they also want to share this passion and good fortune with others, so they share, they tell others, you can do what I did, you too can be what I have been for 2 years, do it now, if you dont do it now, you will never do it. You will keep on telling yourself that someone else is living my dream, dont let someone else live your dream, LIVE YOUR DREAM yourself.

That is the reason I did my trip around Asia for 8 months when I did it, everyone thought I was crazy, its the recession, you will not find another job, you will get killed or raped somewhere in the middle of asia, you will… etc. etc. There were a billion objections, some people couldn’t believe I did it, they were happy for me, I believe, they were hopeful that if I succeed, it would give them an incentive to go, if a little puny girl like me could go on a 8 month trip with just a backpack, and a head full of places to go, they could do the same. And obviously anyone can, especially being so fortunate as to live in Canada or US, or any western country for that matter, you earn in dollars or euros, that you are able to travel far with that sort of money. Any asian country, any developing country, your dollar will be worth ten times as much, thus, ensuring that you can travel 10 times as far, as you would be able to in your own country. That is a traveller’s dream, to be able to travel 10 times as much on 1 times as much money, if that makes any sense.

I really loved the article, in it, Wheezy rider urges people to grab their dreams by the horns, and not let go. And I agree. Be furious, be bold, be adamant, dont let go. Your persistent might be thought of as crazy, but it will be worth it, when you will be the one sitting in a roomful of people who’s been somewhere and has lived to tell the tale, and you see the look of rapt admiration in everyone’s eyes, and obviously a lot of jealousy. They might try to write you off as a rich parent’s spoilt child, but remember you are not here to defend yourself, or how hard you worked to go on that trip. That trip was for yourself and yourself alone. No one else mattered and no one else matters. Yes, that is a selfish way to look at it, but you are only on this planet for a small amount of time, and a little bit of selfishness is recommended. Especially for the selfless women out there.

The Wheezyrider also said that thinking that you do not have the money is just psychological. There are a lot of ‘poor’ people who are travelling forever, and a lot of ‘rich’ people who aren’t. So who’s poor and who’s the rich one? Think you can do it, rent out your house, sell your car, sell that ipad that you bought just cos’ its cool, sell anything and everything you can, and then leave. And do it as soon as you can, cos’ you have no idea what tomorrow brings with it, and you can ALWAYS find excuses not to go. Dont listen to those excuses.

Here’s the website, if you want to check it out, Wheezyrider.

Banquet hall server

Posted on by | Leave a comment

I have been thinking about getting another job, a weekend job, and I had some training today to be a banquet hall server. Its crazy how much information is actually involved in being a waitress and how much people’s egos actually come into it when you think about it. Some of the servers had been there for 20 or 26 years and they were really adamant that they didn’t need to be taught and they didn’t need to be told if they were doing something wrong. The mentality was that if they had been doing it for the past twenty years, it must be working for them, and they didn’t need to change it. Two things that really struck me about this was about change. Didn’t these people ever feel like they need change? Did they never see the need to go out and find another job, or get a job in a different field, maybe get some more education and then get a different job, or try to move up in the same field, maybe become a supervisor, or something like that? Or is comfort such an entanglement, that they never feel like moving out of it. Its a love-hate relationship for sure.

You only serve from the right, unless you are doing french service, then you serve from the left. You always serve clockwise, never anti-clockwise, you always serve the lady on the table first, never a gentlemen. So many rules that are prevalent, that I never noticed, when the servers at a banquet hall were serving me. I guess it is true, that you never notice the servers in a restaurant or a banquet hall. I sometimes only notice the servers, when they make a mistake.

I am reading this book, called the ‘Death of a cozy writer’, by GM Malliet. Really interesting mystery.

Interviews

Posted on by | Leave a comment

I am looking for a job right now, if you didn’t know. As I am back from the Big Trip, and back to real life, I have to get a job, so I can save up again to go to another Big Trip. I am looking for a Marketing Manager position and I had an interview with a company that I really like today. I am hopeful for this job, I really think I am perfect for this job, as it is perfect for me. Lets see if I do get the job or not. I also decided that because I have a lot of free time right now, and it could be used to pay off my student loans off quicker, I am going to get a second job, a weekend job, that should help with the loan payoff.

I came back from the trip and I wanted to go out dancing, a very little thing to some people, most people dont like dancing as much as I do. But to me, not going dancing is a big thing, if I had my way, I would be going dancing every week, at least once a week. Thats how much I love it, I dont drink, I dont usually pay cover, I just dance like a crazy person for a few hours, forgetting everything else, and then I am happy cos that means that I got it out of my system for a few more days. I believe that the human body is meant to move, its meant to dance, to just go crazy. Its meant for these things, but most people suppress that urge, because they are too afraid of looking crazy, stupid, or just too self-conscious, or they believe that they are not good dancers, which is true of most men.

Which is why I had told myself if I find a man who can dance, I should snag him. Unfortunately, that meant that the guy was a complete ass and didn’t care about feelings at all. Whatever. That is another phase of my life that it would seem still has me in its grip, but I swear, it is over and it is going to stay over. I wonder sometimes if its worth it for me to write a blog and get my thoughts out there, but I think as long as I like it, as long as its fun for me, I will do it, when it stops being fun, then I stop doing it. That should be my philosophy in everything, if its fun do it, if it stops being fun, stop doing it instantly, no matter what the consequence.

Another thing that I did today was go spinning, as you know I am kind of obsessed with spinning, yoga, and writing. That is my life, and dancing of course, as I spent half this blog writing about dancing. You should have kind of guessed.

My parents are going back to the home country tomorrow. I hope they will be alright, they will take care of themselves, and come back home safely.

Hot yoga and smoothies

Posted on by | Leave a comment

I have been trying to get the last 10 pounds off since I came back from the really long 8 month trip to Asia. Although I was eating little and sick often during the trip, and even though I was walking almost 8 hours a day, I did lose all the muscle I had gained while I was doing aerobics and strength training in Toronto. I have been trying to get back into shape, by getting back into a routine of spinning, aerobics (with weights) and hot yoga. I am the biggest fan of spinning in the world. I absolutely love it, no matter what my mood is like before the class, I feel as peaceful as a baby and as happy as a dolphin after the class. I love it.

I also have been in love with hot yoga. It is absolute torture, sweating your way through class, while some people look prim and proper. I always look like I have been through war and come out the wrong end. But you always feel so limber after you have been through a session. Its absolutely great

I have also been experimenting with different kinds of smoothies, strawberry, raisins, peanut butter, melon, and yoghurt. It tastes amazing and it does fill up the stomach as a nice snack.

Lets see if I do lose the last ten pounds. I am going to measure myself tomorrow, hips, waist, bust, and weight and lets see how it progresses.

Sleepless night

Posted on by | Leave a comment

Another crappy sleepless night, well, alright, not completely sleepless. I got about five or six hours and I woke up at about 4am and then couldn’t go back to sleep after that, until the sun rose and I could stop thinking about nonsense. Mainly I was worried about what my mother told me yesterday. She saw my palm and she saw something interesting. She is into palmistry and really good at it as well. She saw that although my career line, luck line, and heart line are all really good, my love line and marriage line are really horrible, filled with lots of fights and break ups. I had hoped that that would be the case until now, as I have had really horrible luck with men till now. But I was hoping that would change from now on. I was more mature and I was hopefully less possessive than I was before. Or maybe I am doomed to be single for the rest of my life. The funny thing is that I really dont miss the companionship that much as much as I do the lack of my love life. That really irks me, having tasted the forbidden fruit and wanting it again and again. I try not to think about it too much so I will say no more on the subject.

I have an interview today for a job that I really do not want as it pays nothing, it is an unpaid internship. But I am wondering if that is the wrong way to look at it. I have gotten an opportunity to work for a company that has just started, they are eager, looking for new blood, I will have an opportunity to put my two cents into the beginning of a new company, I think it all sounds really exciting, until you figure that there will be no compensation and I need compensation to pay for the downpayment of the condo that I mistakenly bought 3 years ago, because I had a good full time job and I thought I would stay at it for a while. Whatever, no regrets is the motto that I am trying to work with right now, as much as it works.

I also am working with the new resolution to work two jobs, a full time job and then a small weekend job. Because I would like to be so busy that I do not have to think about my friends who are really lazy, and dont like to go out anywhere. It really pisses me off, but they would rather just sit at home, get fat, and then complain that they do not have any friends or boys. I mean, there is an effort involved at the part of each person, you have to take care of yourself if you want anything relationship wise, because we are all visual people. We like to be attracted to what we see, before we get attracted to whats inside. So if I have two jobs, I dont have to wait around for my friends to do things, I will save up my money and then go on a six month stint to South America which is the next place on my list of places to go. About six countries in S.America in a year and a half, probably August 2011. That is the goal. And if you know me, you know that if I say I am going to do something, I do it, without hesitation, and I make sure that I DO IT!

I am going to start getting ready for a non-interview and ready for the day ahead with very little sleep. I am getting cranky and I cannot stay in the house any longer, having to listen to complaints about how I am not doing enough housework, although my mum really tries not to complain, I am uncomfortable. I do not like housework, I’d rather the house be a little dirty, it doesn’t have to be perfectly clean, and I am not interested in it, so I will go out of my way to do it. Tell me what needs to be done and I will do it. Why is that such a hard concept? Ughers.

Back and better

Posted on by | Leave a comment

I’m back from my big trip. Okay, well, I don’t like to call it that, because then it makes me feel like this is the biggest trip that I will ever take in my life, and basically its all downhill from here, because I am getting older. And wiser.

I’m happy to be back. I’m ecstatic to be among friends and family, sometimes I am sitting at home and I’m comfortable, in my own zone, my own comfy sofa, and heating and food, and it feels good. Of course I miss Asia, the food, noise, heat, and everything else. I miss the constant movement, I miss motion, I miss just not being in one place all the time. That’s one thing that I have always tried to avoid in my life, staying in one place all my life, is absolutely a no-no for me. I hate getting comfortable and staying, I hate not being able to leave, because you are secure and comfortable. I just hate that word comfortable. It invokes images of women who are in bad relationships because they do not want to try something new, and jerk their life out of its comfortable, set routine.

I also want to start blogging more regularly because I feel like I need an anonymous source to start talking to. There is no one in my life atm that really understands the craziness that is me. I am weird, I am a freak, I understand that. Who else leaves a great job and comfortable life, to go traveling for 8 months in Asia, by themselves? Who else wonders all the time whether this is all there is to life? I mean, there must be more, than just buying things and making money to buy more things. This whole cycle of consume, spend, earn, and repeat, must be an illusion. This can’t be why we are here on this planet. But I don’t know anyone else who wonders about it all the time. Every action I take, I’m always wondering if I am doing it because I’m expected to do it, or because I truly, really want to do it. There is definitely a very fine line between that and I really don’t know where it lies.

Even my siblings, they are the best people on this planet, I don’t think I am impressed by many people on this planet, most people are just following along with the crowd without any original ideas in their head, I could totally include myself in that list, although I feel like I’m trying a bit. But I’m impressed by my siblings, even though I know them really well, which is saying a lot. But even my siblings, were wondering where had this crazy version of their sister come from, who picked up and just left to Asia, without really a good reason.

What was my reason for leaving? Not to regret not doing this right now (as later never comes) and to once do what I really want, without thinking about costs and doing the sensible thing. Cos the sensible thing would have been to stay at the great job, save up, make good money, get married to a good guy and move into the condo that I bought impulsively without thinking of the consequences and whether I would be able to afford it. I’m tired of always doing the sensible thing and I have resolved to myself, that once I have my financial situation settled, loans paid off, condo rented out, I’M LEAVING AGAIN!

I know. But that, I think is the only thing that is keeping me sane right now. Well, except for my family, friends, hot yoga and spinning. Really yoga and spinning are my saviors. If I couldn’t move my body for an hour and a half everyday into a sweaty, congealed mass, I wouldn’t be able to survive for as long as I have.

I hope you enjoy my posts, as there are many more to come. Cheerio!