Almost the end of September, and then it will be almost a month of me travelling. Weirdly enough. Time to go on a tour today – 2 days around Bali. Practice, with practice you will be able to sniff out deals and go everywhere on the cheap, especially transport. $120 a day, which is 4 times what I budgeted for. Damn Australia, for being so expensive and wasting so much of my money. Damn it, oh well what can you do? They say, you should always budget for more, bring more money, less stuff. People always think they are going to spend less money and people always overpack. I really want to walk the islands, instead of sitting in a car and exploring it. I want to strap on a backpack and walk. I wonder!

Haven’t talked to the family in a while – I should go and call them. It will be early morning there around 9 am. I shouldn’t have bought the sunglasses and watch in Singapore that was a bad idea. It was a long day but fun, spent a lot of it – shopping - going around Bali – so that was good. I wnat to get a loose pair of capris and silk sarong. I found one for 200k which is 32usd which is really expensive. I could use it as sleep sheet and sarong and dress, and towel. I dont really want any dresses or anything. Its been 20 days of travelling and I think I’m getting used to it. Really happy with the size of the bag and the stuff in it. I might be weird, but I can’t wait for hte clothes that I have to start fraying and tearing so I have to throw it out. We just had a big meal for 1usd. These sleep pants are already looking worse for the wear. They are great. I guess I will get some pyjamas made of cotton.

Funny, how the lack of a proper door in the bathroom is so uncomfortable for humans. I got a fedora made of jute kind of material. Its $10 per day for accomodation, food is cheap with breakfast included and dinner. But the tour is expensive. Oh well, you get to see a lot of stuff in 2 days. It will be 3 days of our 30 days here.

A lot of selling on this island, but then I guess its good practice for Vietnam – that is supposed to be really much worse. I want to rent a motorbike for sure in Laos and live in a beach hut for a few days. And take a surfing lesson one day on my trip. I will need to put all my clothes into the laundry when I come back from the tour. Its only $1 /kg of laundry. I have gotten used to the standing showers. I hate the bathtubs now. I got a free book – Lance Armstrong – its great. So many surfers here in Bali.

Making a decision with the girls is so hard. they are not very quick to decide like me, which is good, i guess, cos a lot of times, im impulsive and rash, but still sometimes they take so long, it can be annoying. Oh well, they wash their clothes when they take a shower. Hmm, for me, its get out of the washroom as soon as possible kind of deal. I’m psycho I know. It takes me a day to get used to a place and a new washroom, by which time you are already planning to go to a new place – which is what vagabonding is about – being uncomfortable, growth.

I was so exhausted yesterday – i fell asleep at 9pm. I really want to go to a bar on the weekend. i really want to dance. it was really comfortable sleeping, i was so tired, i didn’t even notice what was going on around me. i wanted to go for a run, but i dont know if it will happen. the eyepatch really helped yesterday. i gotta take teh hand sanitizer out of the purse. Should I buy a backpack? i think i will put it in a reusable bag and take it with it. shouldnt’ be a big deal. no need to take my books, i should really get a wristwatch. i know i am worried about travel in asia, but i will learn from it and grow stronger and more independent and once i travel in asia, i can travel anywhere literally, without any trouble. it would be nice to work at a backpacking hostel, but i really wanted to get a job outdoors. lets wear the skirt today you bought it for a reason – use it. do i stay or do i go?

i met the nicest kiwi male, jules on the mindil beach in darwin. i went to watch the sunset one last time in australia and he asked me to join him for pate – sat there talking to him for hours – eating kimchi right now – i know its hot, but eating hot stuff will prevent me from getting a cold and falling asleep. need to cover shoulders and knees in asia and not look like such an outsider. worried about bugs. this is your year to do what you want to do – if you feel like asia, do asia, if you feel like goa, go to goa. its your time , do with it as you may.

am so glad i went out to mindil beach – this is how you meet people – under the stars – sharing thoughts and dreams. i get up at 7 am and fall asleep at 9pm – my sleep schedule is so weird right now.

most people long to be 25 again – and you are. Jules said, most billionaires if asked to choose between  their billions and being 25 again, would choose 25 in a heartbeat. do you think they would spend their second chance chasing after billions. no sirree bob. they would spend it living – which to Jules meant – using his senses – wanting to feel as much as he could, wanting to see as much as he could, wanting to taste as much as he could, wantting to touch as much as he could. you can’t do that in one place, you have to move around a lot. Travel to experience, live as much as you can.

damn, i paid too much for the bus – booking late gives me the flexibility i like, but causes me to pay extra which obviously i hate. i’m not buying cold cuts anymore, just gonna get tuna. it doesnt go bad, doesn’t need refrigeration. as i said, you live and you learn. haven’t been in such a full bus in a while. tis odd. i am getting used to these bus rides. i get tired of people easily, i should really try harder.

Does australia smell different? smells, sights, sounds. kangaroo meat, crocodile meat, australia’s obsession with saving water as its the driest place on the planet, and needles disposal orange boxes in the public toilets. tbar – a tea lovers heaven tbar.com.au.

i feel like i am doing a really bad job of travelling as a vagabonder. i am travelling too fast, i’m not seeing/doing the tours, uluru, kangaroo island, ghan and i am eating out way too much. i dont think i am being careful enough. i keep on forgetting thte value of grocery shopping rather than going to restaurants. when i come to a new place, i get scared and want to do teh familiar, rather than the unfamiliar. i dont think i am spending enough time with the locals, i wanted to spend some time with the aboriginals, but i am scared to talk to them. i thought i lost $22 for the room, but it worked out, becuase i had a nicenap, which will be helpful. i willl be in darwin for 2 days, and then i will do the 3 day tour of the national park adn waterfalls and then we shall see. maybe harvest job for 3 months. but on the plus side, i am getting used to it slowly, but surely. i’m getting used to travelling, of being in hostels, of talking to starngers, of always being in the unfamiliar. that said, without discomfort there is no adventure and i totally agree with that statement. i really want to eat some pasta. i was thinking about making it, but then what will i do with the excess? i wonder if darwin is as tiny as alice springs. 730pm tonight is my bus. i like laura, i hope i get to hang out with her even more. tehy are so cute with their hangers, these japanese girls. they hang up their clothes as soon as they get into the hotel rooms. i wonder why.

interesting that the bus was the same price as the tour. i mean, i didn’t even think about that – my philosophy wa everyrthing is live and learn. i have learnt that you gotta shop around for tours and if one’s full doesn’t mean they are all full. taking a full day to rest in a hostel s absolutely necessary. until then you are not even thinking clearly. the bus is pretty full to darwin. met a taiwanese girls, a girl from japan, one from netherlands and a man from montreal, very cool! where else could you do that? i definitely have to relax in darwin for a bit. take the 2 nights completely, i am like a fish thrashing about outside of water, scrambling, never relaxing. i hate being like that. i don think i have much stuff, i am always justifying to myself he same music plays in radio stations everywhere, it never changes.

if i am so horrible at travel in australia, how bad will i be in asia? pretty bad i think, i know i am too hard on myself.

its so funny, that guy said, if i am travelling for ayear, i will definitely need to get a job. no true, mister, not true. just listen to rolf potts.

its easier to carry the backpack when i am wearing all the heavy stuff – whats going to happen – when i have to put all of this in the bag. ugh, i dont even want to think about it. it was so cold in the bus, the top of my legs were freezing. i have learnt that sleep is more important than food sometimes.

should i get a jobfor 3 months? but i dont need it right now. i cant always come back n a few months, when i am runnin gouto f the dough. the jobs will still be here. it looks pretty cold outside. i really am going to wear this until the end of the week. its wednesday – 2 more days out of this outfit i’m sure.

i have learnt not to book any overland transportation overnight – becuase you miss a lot of the scenery that way. days are better. because then you arrive in the city, have a nice nights sleep and you are ready to go. but with the night trip, you are exhausted, as you slept in fits and you just wanna sleep all day, its a complete waste either way. i really feel like donating the red shoes to good will, they are not very comfortable, they smell, i would rather have my sneakers than the red shoes, oh well, we shall see. i have also learnt that it is cold on teh bus and a small compact blanket would be great to carry around to sleep in buses and railways stations. i like the location of this hostel, really central. i love it. i think i shall book the hostel for 3 nights and lets see how it goes.

i love it being on my own – writing different hostels and places and walking around. the reason i would do the regional thing is so i can come back when my money almost runs otua nd work

i am always amazed by how resourceful people can be, especially when they have no other option. like the people in teh kitchen who were cooking up a storm. i like not worrying about anyone else. i am obviously much better prepared than the time i went to europe, but every single day, i do this, i get better at it, and thats the cool thing about it.

right now, my quest is figuring out how to make my backpack and my stuff more accessible. not so i can fit more stuff, but so i can be more prepared for the things that come – so i know exactly where everything is and i can get at it quicker and easier. i like the bunk bed at this yha, its so high that you can sit up straight without hitting your head.

central market tomorrow. love how i dnt have to worry about calling a friend or a family ora  boyfriend.

did i bring a reusable bag from home? i dont remember. that would’ve been useful. i wonder if the deli would give me some cold cuts and then with the fresh baked bread, i could have a sandwich all day. yummy!

review of yha – first of all, stupidly, i didn’t know that yha is the same as hostelling international. i should have checked. well, you live and learn. the yha was great – they had a luggage room which was perfect, so helpful when check in isn’t untli 1pm. i had the light they had next to the bunk beds, so worh thte price of the hostel. seriously, instead of scarmbling for a flashlight, you have the light switched on. teh quilts were nice and warma nd it was quiet, the staff were knowledgable. the internet was at$4 per hur, which is cheap. the adaptors were really helpful, i didn’t realize teh plugs here are differently shaped. the book exchange room was a good touch.

hate that no one wants to buy the book from me. i cant’ roam around with 3000 books in my bag.

love my backpack – i swing back and forth between thinking i have too much stuff, and i have just about right.

i dont have  watch on my wrist, and i find thati cope perfectlywell without it. why do you need to know the time every singe minute of everyday? the only time you need it is if you are going to have to catch a bus/train adn you need to be on time. i have been waking up at 7am and going to sleep at 9pm, thats how it works out normally.

this rain is annoying.

i can’t believe i almost left my wallet in the yha hostel. i’m surprised at myself. i still can’t beleive i left it and my credit card was in it. eek! i have to be careful.

song: the best things in life are free, but you can give them to the birds and the bees, i want money, thats what i want…

its tuesday and i left on a tuesday, but its only monday in canada. i’m excited, i hadn’t thought of the possibility of coming back after a year of travelling back to oz, maybe adelaide, or darwin, cheapest flight. and then working while travelling – work 3 months fruit picking, and then move to melbourne work 3 months in a car rental agency and then move somewhere else. have to come back before september 8th and use my visa. but i gotta read up on that and make sure. my stomach feels great. i really have to figure out how to use this payphone and call my family. call them and grab a smoothie, go back to bed for a few hours – go checkout and roam around, exchange the book for something else, eat and catch the bus to station. i want to get the other book – glass palace if they have it. i have realized that i am worrying for much about doing the backpacking trip the typical way – whereas in the real world – there is no typical way. you are trying to assign normalcy to a way of living that is entirely abnormal and unique to the person travelling. that meal lasted me 2 meals, thats great.

it would be nice to have somewhere to put in my notifications. i slept so well – it was amazing – seriously great. long, deep, and hard. but i woke up at 0430am with a hankering to call my family after dreaming about them all night. i know why i am avoiding calling them – i dont want to feel like i miss them – the feeling of missing them will intensify when i hear their voices. right now i dont want to hear them, its fine. i miss them, but not too intensely.

a rain cover from darwin?

at least touchwood my skin’s behaving alright. going back to sleep, going to be a long day – like all of them are. but yesterday, i was exhausted emotionally from the battle with a good friend. oh, well, i was getting annoyed of her being all self-righteous. its not right. but i didn’t have to use the word stupid – that was stupid of me.

it wasnt that bad  – i called the family – and it was nice to hear their voices. i didn’t miss them more or less. nothings changed. nothing ever changes, everything stays the same. i should email m about the loan. i like the idea of buying bread and cold cuts and sprouts and eating that. the only thing is about storing cold cuts. dont have a fridge. would’ve have to eat it all in a day. 3 meals of salami sandwiches. i slept for two and a half hours, it was nice, i like being in a dorm room – but need to take the flashlight and alarm clock out for sure – thats causing me a bit of panic not knowing what the time is. i want to get used to not having a watch or a computer or a routine. i could sleep for another hour and then start my day.

i want to get really good at travelling, good at packing, no overpacking and good at sniffing out deals and cheap ways to travel.

walkinga round in the cold right now. wanna take a shower. better to travel in asia as much in the winter rather than july, august. they are so hot, too hot to bear. i can totally understand how someone could survive on less clothes, i wear almost the same stuff everyday. the arts museum was nice – a shrine to music decorated in plush velvety red.

i absolutely love carrying the backpack. i feel like it gives me some sort of power. it gives mea n edginess that i have never had and it makes me part of the in crowd like i have never been before. i have always been a nerd, i think i will always be a nerd, so being part of this edgy, cool crowd of backpackers is nice. sometimes i feel like i dont belong, but then i look around at the bacpackers in the hostel and none of them really fit a mould – for eg. there are some german girls, a german boy(who looked like he would be in a rockband) and 3 irish girls in mydorm room in st. kildas. the only thing that could be said is that they are all white. but that sort of thing (race, i mean) doesn’t really seem to count, until it really counts. i mean to say, you dont really think about race, until someone is being racist and then you suddenly realize that oh yeah, he is not of the same race as me, and that matters somehow to this racist fooo. have you also noticed that everyone’s a bit of a racist, no matter how unracist they might be.

i know i am not really a backpacker if i only carry my bag short distance, and tire from it due to the weight. i really need to reduce the weight. i wish my trip to adelaide was in the day so i could have seen some of the road, and arriving in the am is going to be painful. hopefully i can check in and sleep for a bit. i have food for later, a falafel sandwich and a yoghurt, hopefully its good.

am i overeating to compensate for not eating home meals?

how long do  i plan to be in adelaide? 2 days and 2 nights i think. check the greyhound to alice springs and book it as soon as i hit a internet cafe. that one i will make sure is during the day, maybe grab the ghan. alice to darwin – 60 hours tahts 3 days. i think i want to do it slower. maybe i can get on and off, gotta check it out. i hope the bus is not too full.

at least my bag is too heavy to steal. this sweater already looks like its losing color and i only washed it once on this trip, it was worn out from before. i want one of those creamy long sweaters to throw on over dresses, with tights and boots that is my absolute favorite way to dress. i should’ve brought boots, but then what about asia what would i do there? dont you just love the sound of the trains? i really love it. its so much fun. tahts when yu really feel like you are travelling. when you are on a train and you hear the tracks beneath you and the trains call above you. reminds me of the dick francis book – about railway men – how his sons were railway men but they had never heard the train on the prairies – they worked behind desks.

i was thinking to myself i really want to sleep with a guy who owns the top floor of a penthouse of a posh condo building with a great view. it would just be me and him on this huge bed with the city sparkling behind us. i dont know why i have this fantasy, but its there. i should write a short story about it.

i think i handled r really badly. i mean reallybadly. i know i had to say what i had to say, but i could have done it in a better way. i’m always worrying about if i am travelling well, that i wont make friends, although people do like me, except when i am in one of my moods. ugh, i know we will still be friends. am i bad? i dont know. i am exhausted from the day.

i feel like i am eating less, because i dont need to eat as much – i’m not eating when i am bored because i dont get bored. i’m only eating when i am really hungry (the miso soup was so good, really fills u up). i am going to start carrying smoothies and yoghurts for those mornings when i wake up starving. i’m not looking forward to staying in a hostel and having my period – awkward. its so surreal, being here. its hard to keep within your budget in australia.

i should check my bank account to see whats going on – i have to say goodbye to r before i go. pack my stuff, and off i go to the base backpackers st. kilda hostel. i have the key already. i’m not good at confrontation. i really need to get better at it. i should really go grab my stuff, its the same being here or there, still going to sit at the beach in the freezing cold weather. i wonder what time checkout is at 10am. i’m worried about going downstairs and mingling with the crowds. i’m such a weirdo. i am fine dancing in front of hundreds, but i hate groups. i ‘m fine one on one, but i hate dinner parties. what is that about?

weirdly enough, i’m in melbourne. i mean, i can’t imagine this. its so odd. sitting here, with one of the craig’s roomates playing the piano, the other on this mac editing his movie, r reading with hooker style stilettos above the window sill and bikes in the kitchen. its just an odd medley of people and event – an indian, a ukrainian, a turkish person sitting on the kitchen table all sharing their love of travel and oddities. i’m fearful to travel on my own – but i’m also really excited to go off on my own – if i dont learn in a safe country like australia to travel on my own – i will never learn to travel on my own. i am glad i didn’t get a degree in english because it would’ve taught me to write really well, which means, i wouldnt be able to ramble on in run-on sentences without feeling any shame whatsoever. theres no feeling of i’m an english major every writing that i turn out has to be perfect. the problem is that too many people wait until the circumstances are just perfect – which doesn’t make any sense at all – they wait until its tperfect in love, in travel, in following their dreams, in writing their thoughts, in doing whatever else their heart desires. in addition to waiting until conditions are perfect, theywait to do things perfectly otherwise the world shall fall apart. i had my first taste of a grade b bathroom yesterday (grades go all the way to  e which is a hole in the ground) and i realized this is nothing. there are a lot more worse experiences in cuisine, in bathrooms coming my way.i was horrified when the garlic that fell to the floor was put into the pasta that we were meant to eat, without washing, but how many times does that happen in restaurants without us knowing about it? i have to let go of my delicate sensibilities, othewrise, i will never cut it in the vagabonding world. i have given up worrying incessantly about little inconsequential details that i worried about before. i’m not perfect yet – i still worry but i try not to do it as often. think of aus as a practice run – i want to go to tasmania and nz but should i wait until the weather warms up a bit – lets check the temperatures and then i want to go on the 60 hr train ride and take a ferry to tasmania – take the bus and train everywhere. thats the dream obviously. i’m glad i am away from my parents their influence wanes every few days and i feel more in control of my destiny. we’re going to sydney road today, lets see what the road brings us today. i need to sit down in a cafe one day and jut plan out my trip a bit. book a hostel or something. make me feel a bit more organized. its only barely been a week since i left, and i dont know what i am talking about.

(nighttime) sitting here in a really nice apartment condo on kilda beach - in melbourne with a pool and a gym. wow, i’m becoming really antisocial – but i cannot wait to travel by myself. just travel, run and eat, that would be great. that sucks that…lost that train of thought. went for a run, i could so go to sleep right now, but i want to wash my clothes that would be great, if i could.  i gotta call my parents and maybe check on some trains and stuff. should i stay in melbourne for a bit? i will call s when i’m done with the apartment. my nail came off, can’t wait to be on my own, maybe i should enjoy being with people while i’m still here.

r said that obviously i am happy not being in a relationship, because being in a relationship is always more pressure on you. is that true? i can’t believe that. i gotta think about that. i can’t wait to fall asleep - please leave already.

i’m here in sydney, just going to melbourne soon, there are so many boats on the harbor – on the water. i went out dancing yesterdaya – so many good-looking guys – seriously jackpot – tall, broad, cute. it was great. i loved it. im thinking all the time what to do with australia and nz. i know what i want to see in australia – the outback maybe, contiki has something i could catch for a few hundred dollars? tahts a good idea. aus and nz. i’ll check that when i haev a chance. its nice outside. i wanted to wash some clothes, but i still have loads. i can wait for some more time – maybe another week before i wash anything. i was reading the book about the tide country and i like it. we spent $17 and we had six meals for it. i made a nice cheese, tomato and sprouts eggs. i’ll have a banana and noodles before going to the airport. and i should be good for the rest of the day until we get to s’s house. just for one night- shouldnt’ be a big deal. i know i was thinking about going to asia and coming back, but i dont think i will do that now. i will visit outback and new zealand and then i’m gone – i dont want to spend too much time here – its pretty similar to canada and i dont find anything interesting in that.

i’m so glad i’m doing this now – touchwood. i haven’t had any regrets yet – maybe it will get tougher, maybe not. but till now its been 3 days only – what am i talking about? we came back home at 4am yesterday, it was great. no worries about telling anyone, being afraid of being too late. need to send a detailed email to my family and gotta call them. i’m glad i dont have to drink, its so much cheaper and safer when you dont drink. the jacket is going to get a lot of useout of it, i’m glad for it – lets see if it tears.

i thitnk i will stay in venus bay for a week and then i will leave. find a trip that goes from melbourne to nz and then i will go to malaysia from there, and it will be all good. reading the book on how the guy didn’t have anything written even though he had 30-odd years makes me sad. but makes me think. i want to read the books by paulo coelho. i’m surprised at how many books r bought with her. i wouldn’t want to carry those around with me. i gotta find my sunglasses, damn everytime i put it into the bag, not just lying anywhere, thats how you lose stuff. gotta pack the bag again and put the heavy toiletries in the middle, shoes in the top. i think too much, thats my problem. i think that i was never meant to use the australian work visa or maybe i will use it? i have a feeling that i will not. but it gave me the boost that i needed to leave and go travelling – which is always a precious gift. i’m saying mitwa re – lagaan – ye dhirti apni hain, amber apna hai.

i think i shall get some tea – need a nice shower – stinky i am. hairs going long, i will cut it in a few weeks – when it grows too long. need to take multivitamins, but i think i’m eating well. i bet everyone at home is still the same old, same old. which is good. everyone can’t be moving around – otherwise hows anything going to get done?

its thursday – feels like the days are just going by so quickly – although i did lose a day. i still cannot believe i am here – that i am doing this – the world is my oyster and i cannot believe it. i could go any place that i want that is scary and exciting at the same time. so many different ways to save money while u r travelling. i reallylike the idea of buying groceries and then eating that for the rest of the day – just compare it to $7.50 for a sandwich one meal, and $17 for 4 meals (good ones) – 2 breakfasts, 2 dinners and maybe 1-2 lunches as well. that is just great. thats the way to go, if you can. i mean if you have a kitchen to cook in. i was so worried about using up a lot of money for food – i dont know what is this thing i have about food, i always want to hoard food – i worry about not having enough food, about being hungry – because it affects me so quickly – the lack of food – i get grumpy and headachey and i’d rather just feed myself at regular intervals and not worry about food as much. i’m drinking so much water nowadays – i dont know what its about – maybe the plane ride dehydrated me – i’m not even peeing that much. oh well i feel good – i really do. i dont want to do too much too fast – resting and taking things slow is key. i’m seriously considering going to asia right now and then coming back for the outback later in january – thats fine with me. i dont need to work – so i dont think i shall right now. i’ll stay with r for a week in venus bay and then i’m off to thailand. but i will leave india till after the outback – i want to do india for a while. it feels so surreal. i was standing next to the sydney opera house and i looked up at it and thought to myself  i have seen pictures of thisand i’m here. i wanted to slap myself, just because i couldn’t believe it. thank god for sunglasses, i gotta be careful with these – i couldnt’ survive without them in this sun. we made eggs for breakfast today, isn’t that crazy? nutty yum bread, eggs and bean sprouts makes for a really satisfying, cheap meal – two things that i absolutely love – i’m looking out at the harbor from this apt and i am in awe of my luck. i haven’t talked to mum yet – i should call her – why was i worried? this is easy – yoghurt, and fruits and sandwiches – still really healthy. i know i’m harping about it, but i can’t help myself i slept reallywell , really nicely so nice and warm with my 2 blankets  – my two things are being hungry and being cold. i hate both, which is weird – because they are the primal needs – and i should be over that – but maybe its alwayss in the background. i was worried about the backpack but weirdly enough everyone else thinks its really little. i think i have more than enough to last me months – these jeans are going to get a lot of use and those red shoes are still so uncomfortable, i’m so annoyed with them, such a waste. i can’t wait to be a vagabonding expert thats my real goal.

captains log star date 2009-09-10 – i think its the tenth already, i dont know how far we are, from australia. but the 14 hr flight is damn easier when you do it in the dark. i watched star trek in the flight and it was good. the time changes, the fast warp travel – there’s so much we don’t know about the world yet, so much still to learn – in eve dallas’ book – she talks about the rainforest being extinct and that makes me undeniably sad, although it is inevitable. i wasn’t feeling well at all yesterday, i puked out bile because of the stress of the day and the past few weeks culminating together, my dad being upset and i missed a meal, got a hunger headache and didn’t eat for 10 hours straight, which obviously led me to puke out bile. even when i did eat something, a subway sandwich with the 10 USD my sis gave me, i puked that out as well. finally after hours of coaxing and pampering, drinking tea and finishing the six inch sandwich and chatting with a very interesting Malaysian-chinese from australia – michael – i felt a billion times better. i slept a bit on the plane, but its only right now hitting me what i am doing – whats happening. i realized i was focusing on the length of the journey – focusing on the quantity over quality. i believe its the indian in me bargaining for a deal – even on a vagabonding trip. what are these foolish books talking about – getting one year out of ten thousand dollars, i could get 2 years for the same amount – the indian in me says.

but i realized even if i only get a year of travelling – good travelling out of my savings – it will still be  worth it. i really have to take care of myself – eat when you feel hungry – dont skimp money on food – is one of the rules for myself – cos i do that.which is really, really bad. a demo was gotten yesterday or 2 days ago, i dont know with the time difference.

so now here i am – after fighting and cajoling and explaining to everyone i know – here over the ocean somewhere going to the Down under. i realize though that i probably wont stay for very long. i want to see the great barrier reef, the outback, koalas, kangaroos, sydney’s opera house and harbor and tahts all i know. what else, i dont have anything to write about. just trying to get some sleep, hoping that guy in vagabonding is right. go now, sell ur car, save up a couple of thousand and leave. for the minute, you are in the new country, smelling the new smells, seeing the new sights, everything else will just fall away, all ur doubts will disappear. i believe my doubts are slowly leaving, but still i wonder about the backpack – will i be able to carry it? why wouldn’t i be? i’m obviously focusing on one of the most useless details and lamenting about it. i’m going to miss my brother and sister the most. i haven’t been on a plane with them in ages. since we immigrated to canada 9 years ago. i really want to go on a trip with them before they get a family, wives, husbands, obligations. i feel that life is busy and complicated right now, but its nothing compared to whats coming with weddings, births, deaths, etc.

Sitting at the airport waiting for the flight to come take me to sfo, i was feeling so anxious the whole day – never felt like this before going somewhere before. thank god the ipod is working makes me appreciate it even more. worried about the bag. it will be fine – i’m not a seasoned backpacker, but i will be soon. im sure. good that i talked to papa before i left – so sleepy – middle seat 16b – i haven’t sat in teh middle in teh while. my dad stopped talking to me when he realized i was leaving, he felt it was  betrayal of the family. i can’t imagine why. he left his family to go work in the middle east. just because its work doesn’t make it any better or any worse. anyway, thats another story. Lets move on to the next day.

i’m going to start blogging about my journey through South east asia and india now, (i’m not using caps lock, cos the computer i’m on right now in bangkok has a weird caps lock system, you have to press shift to get rid of it, that is such a colossal waste of precious internet time). im going to talk about each day as i have written about it in my journal, some details are going to be omitted, most are going to be kept. Lets begin.