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Monthly Archives: August 2009

Engagement party

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I went to an impromptu engagement party last night. It was a friend of a friend who is getting married to a girl he’s liked and then loved for the past 3 years. It was loads of fun to get dressed in my traditional garb and pretend to be looking at the engagement party, but actually look at the guys, and catch them looking at you. Its the game of the century – who can look away last?

Its also my last day at the job. Its kind of weird. I have nothing to do work-wise. I’m just organizing my next few days so I know what I have to do, to prepare for the travelling. I wanted to leave early, but they want to have a kind of a farewell party later, so I have to stay for that. I hate long goodbyes, I’m not good at them. I dont cry, I dont feel too emotional. I am always thinking, okay so whats my next step in this life? I try not to look back and I usually dont. I keep in touch as much as I can, but if we fall out of touch, I dont take it as a bad sign. I just think, well we weren’t meant to keep in touch. Why keep hammering a round peg into a square hole?

Its so funny – a coworker of mine said that because its my last day, I’m allowed to go around the building and tell each person exactly what I think of them. Its so funny, but thinking about it, I can’t think of a single bad thing to say about anyone. They are all such great people, it was such a pleasure to work with all of them. I am indeed very lucky to have had a chance to work with them.

Random Funniness (is that really a word?)

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Received an email about Random Funny Thoughts – Dont know the original author of this – if you find him msg me. Its Hilarious!

You all know you were thinking the same thing…

-I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.**

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.**

-I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.**

-That’s enough, Nickelback.

-I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?**

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.*****

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

- LOL has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

- Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.

- How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

-I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.

-There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

WordPress header

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I am working on creating a header customized to my travel blog, with me and my backpack and the words that inspired me to travel. You only live once. You are only young once. You are only in your twenties once. Travel now, not later. Go now, not later, not after you have more money saved, not after you finish another degree, not after you are married, not after you are dead. RIGHT NOW!

I am going through my roster of friends who can work on graphics and create one for me. I am thinking that will be much cheaper for me, then asking a professional website designer to do it for me.

I’m so excited, I was thinking about this weekend. My sister and some of her friends and me are going off to a cottage this weekend, just so I can spend some time with her before I am off to my adventure. I also started working the Daily Plate to track my daily food intake, which shouldn’t last too long, but at least for the next 14 days, that I am here.

I am forever the thinker, and I was wondering about what else I am missing that I should be taking on the road. Maybe a rainjacket? Maybe an umbrella? Maybe an electric toothbrush? Everything and all that I think of, is going to be tossed out of that list, when I realize how little space a backpack actually has. It really does not carry too much – especially when I am thinking I want to carry a pair of heels with me. How is that going to work? In keeping with all the shoes that I want to carry, I would be taking five pairs of shoes with me, which is just a bit too excessive – the keens casual slip on shoes, flipflops, silver ballet flats, sneakers, heels. So I gotta cut down. I cut down heels, but I really, really want to take a pair of heels with  me, to make me feel a little dressed up on occasion when I will feel tired of being an ugly, dirty backpacking bum. And I assure you that will happen for sure.

Yesterday, I picked up my travel insurance papers. After researching for centuries, I found the cheapest travel insurance for 18 months for $600 which includes medical insurance and trip cancellation. Perfecto! It was from the Adventure Travel Company. That was really great piece of change from my savings – but it will so be worth it – when I do get sick on the road. Besides that, I was thinking about what if my card that I have gets rejected or blocked due to some unscrupulous activity, so I have applied for an extra credit card and an extra bank account.

I do love the headset that I have at work, because I can be working away on my computer, while waiting on line for these telecom companies or banks, that make you wait at least 10-15 minutes before you can speak to anyone.

The less I buy, the less I want

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I think shopping malls are like landmines. You should not step in/on one or anywhere near it, if you want to be safe. I usually do not want for anything. I am happy enough with all the garbage that I have accumulated till now, but as soon as I step into a shopping mall ( or read a magazine – they work the same), I want all of these things that I never knew I wanted or needed. Suddenly, I can’t live without them, I have to have them right now. That is why whenever there is the necessity of entering a shopping mall, I try to restrict the amount of time I spend in it. I walk really fast, I go in and out, I try not to linger, and I do not let my eyes catch on anything shiny ( I am addicted to shiny stuff).

But I have noticed if I do not go into a shopping mall for months or read a magazine, or watch very little TV ( except on demand stuff), I really have none of these weird urges to buy anything. I literally want nothing. I am happy enough cruising along, doing what I do, reading, running and writing. Spending time with my family and friends in cheap and free manners, which is so much fun. The LESS I buy, the LESS I want. The less I want, the happier I am.

In addition, studies have proven that the more choices we are given, the less likely we are to buy. That makes sense. When I have too many things to choose from, I get confused. I literally get paralyzed, what if I get this one, then maybe I will find something else, that will cost lesser, and then I will have to return it, and then buy that cheaper item. It just makes me annoyed and unhappy. 

That is one reason I like online shopping. You are given a lot of chances to abandon your cart or wish list. You are not being cajoled into anything by a persistent salesperson. You are free to look at what you want, when you want. You would imagine it would make you buy more, but it really doesn’t for me. Putting that credit card information in there, really makes me think twice about hitting the ‘Accept all charges’ button.

What is good and what is bad.

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There is an old folktale that is repeated in every book on Buddhism and Zen that I have read. I have copied it below from here.

A man who lived on the northern frontier of China was skilled in interpreting events. One day, for no reason, his horse ran away to the nomads across the border. Everyone tried to console him, but his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?” Some months later his horse returned, bringing a splendid nomad stallion. Everyone congratulated him, but his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a disaster?” Their household was richer by a fine horse, which his son loved to ride. One day he fell and broke his hip. Everyone tried to console him, but his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?”

A year later the nomads came in force across the border, and every able-bodied man took his bow and went into battle. The Chinese frontiersmen lost nine of every ten men. Only because the son was lame did the father and son survive to take care of each other. Truly, blessing turns to disaster, and disaster to blessing: the changes have no end, nor can the mystery be fathomed.

The Lost Horse,

Chinese Folktale.

Doesn’t it make you really think? Why do you think your losing your job is a disaster? It could be a blessing in disguise. Why do you think your getting a job is a blessing? It could be a disaster in disguise. Always be careful before you crow too loudly about your accomplishments or downfalls, they are usually not what they appear to be. Also, I have read and found that the universe doesn’t like to be too straightforward about things. It likes to be subtle. You wouldn’t appreciate all these life lessons if they just came out of the blue and hit you on the head like a hammer. But you appreciate them more because you notice them out of the blue, because it just randomly comes on, it sneaks up on your from behind and suddenly you are breathless.

Yesterday, I finally got my cheque from my last job for some money they owed me. I was talking to my bank rep and he was saying, how lucky I was that this money was out of the market for the last year, with the recession causing the market to crash. Until that point, I had been thinking, how unfortunate that I lost a year of compounding, but the minute he said that, my perspective shifted one hundred eighty degrees and I was stunned. Obviously. I mean, its great that I didn’t lose half of my money in the swing last year and now I can enter the market when its in its low numbers. Crazy how the universe works! I love it. I really do.

Inglorious Basterds

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I went to watch the movie ‘Inglorious Basterds’ yesterday and it was amazing! I haven’t gone to watch a movie in a theatre in ages, at least 6-7 months. I just feel like most movies aren’t good enough to spend $12 bucks per ticket, not to mention $5 for the popcorn and drinks. But we went yesterday because I had four free tickets from a draw that I won at work. I loved the movie. I loved the story, the acting. Brad Pitt was amazing in it. I usually try to hate him, because he dumped Jennifer Aniston, whom I adore. But he did an amazing job in the movie yesterday.

Quentin Tarantino is really an amazing director. The movie theatre was absolutely full, so glad, we found great seats up top. I would have hated to sit in the rows right in front of the screen, with so much blood and gore being splattered around everywhere. It really was sad to see all the mindless killing of the Jews by the Germans, but it reminded me of how much hope and courage we humans are filled with. I love how the worst situations brings out the best in a lot of us. Its tragic that we need a bad situation to shine, but at least we do shine somehow.

I’m over my ex

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I am over my ex. I know, I shouldn’t be declaring it to the world. But I can’t help it. I’m so happy. Usually when I would talk to him when we were broken up (in our on-off relationship madness – Thank God those days are over), I would get all goose-bumpy, I would be hot-cold alternately and my heart would start beating really hard. I would also get all wet in the eyes. But now, its as if he’s just another guy who is talking to me. It is hilarious, how I could be at two extremes. I’m so happy, I wish to celebrate. Its so appropriate that I figure that I’m over my ex, over one of the worst relationships I have had (and the best – depends on what you are looking at), on my birthday.

That is an auspicious moment for sure. I was looking for some horoscopes for Virgos, and I couldn’t find any good ones. So I am going to go back home and look at the newspaper to see if they have something nice to say. They did the last time I read my horoscope in it.

I’m getting ready to make my escape soon, so I’m excited to get home and spend some quality time with my family. My Dad was supposed to call me and wish ‘Happy Birthday’, but he hasn’t yet. And I think I shouldn’t have to remind him, I mean, that’s not fair. I always remember his birthday, but again, this is not a competition and he is much older than you. Fine! I will call him and let him wish me. As if that’s such an honor ( bitchy person in my head says).

I got the most beautiful dress for myself for my birthday present. It is one of those beautiful patchwork dresses, that can be worn 8 different ways. I love it! Exactly fits my personality. Beautiful, diverse, and versatile. And perfect for the trip, as if I get bored of it, I can wear it another way and liven it up a bit. I know, I’m a bit obsessed with my trip, every thought that I have is related to my trip. Well, I think I am off to the house, so I can be admired and appreciated, just because I am me. :)

40 more hours to go

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I have 8×5 more hours to go for work. Should I be counting down the hours as such? I dont know. I just know that I am slowly losing my mind. All that is keeping me from going crazy is reading Kayla’s blog. Really fun! She’s really cute and I love her writing. Really casual and stuff. I was watching the Miss Universe pagent yesterday. Really beautiful ladies. It just made me feel something in my stomach. I started cursing myself on not having the self-control to get my weight low enough to qualify for the pageants in my area. But of course, I was already really thin and I knew if I got thinner, I would get sick. Is that something that is really necessary? But still, I had that need for a moment that I want it, I want it bad. And then I fell asleep, exhausted from walking all day and in the morning, I had forgotten all about it.

I also found a website, devoted to ‘Stuff Asian People like’. It is not as funny as the Stuff White People like, but its still pretty good. And obviously, bang on on every point.

Only 4 more hours to go today and then I can go home. I know I’m being a child, but thats just me, right now.

I is being 26

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As it says above. How did that happen? How did I get here? As the years go by, it seems as if I am transported in the back of a truck every single year, just to be dumped out in a jungle somewhere on my birthday. The year is a blur, the birthday a dire warning. You better shape up, cos you are already 26. Have I done anything? Buddhism says I dont need to do anything or be anything, because I am already there. No wonder I love Buddhism, it really takes the pressure off of a gal.

I am glad thats why that I am doing this travel stint. Its not going to be relegated to the back of my closet, like all the clothes and shoes I never use and never talk about. I am actually going to take that dress out, iron it and wear it, damn it and its going to look great. What do I want from this trip? My Dad obviously wants a list of goals 1 year, 5 year and 10 year, and how this travel is going to help with my goals. I dont want to condemn the guy, he’s great, he taught me so much about self-reliance, so much about money that I can take care of myself, independence, he gave my the gypsy travel bug although now he denies it. He’s amazing, but he’s not living my life, and I’m not living his.

I want to learn 4 things from this travel thing. I want to learn how to relax when spending money on myself. I am a good saver, I am a great, splendid saver. I save up enough, I invest enough and then the leftover you are supposed to spend, right? In my case, I clench up when I have to spend any money on myself. Its just not done in my situation. But that is wrong. The reason you are alive is to experience things. I do not like to spend on items, but I do love spending on experiences. But I have a hard time spending anything. This year is going to teach to spend.  I want to learn how to be more social, and less aloof. I am great at being aloof, I do it really well. I’m a city girl, we have to learn the aloof face when we are a little baby, otherwise, bad men want to do things to you. Look down, dont look up at anyone, stay away from guys/girls muttering to themselves on the street, especially stay away from guys offering candy to random strangers. City life teaches you to be aloof. I love city life,  but I dont like to be aloof. I want to write a lot, I mean a lot and read even more. I love writing and reading. I know I am going to be a published author someday. I just know it in my gut, I just have to practice writing as much as I can, the more you practice, the better you get. I am not looking for a Nobel price for writing, I just want my thoughts to be out there. I love blogging for that reason, I get my thoughts out there and people are actually commenting on them. I am so glad for blogs. But I want to reach a bigger audience. I love reading even more, I want to read a lot on this trip. I want to dance as much as I can. I love dancing, and unfortunately I dont get to dance as much as I would like to. There aren’t enough opportunities in a day or a week to kick up your heels. I want to dance all night long in Goa, and in Melbourne and in Bali. I just want to dance away till the morning light. And then dance some more.

As you can see, nothing really major in there. I am not looking to change the world, I am not looking to change anything, except subtly change my perspective and my outlook. Travel changes you, they say; I can’t wait, I say.

Some thoughts on life

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I have never been the proponent of the saying, ‘ Life sucks, and then you die.’ You must have heard of that one, its an odd one, isn’t it? It must have been written by some crazy pessimist. But I have always tried to be an optimist, tried being key. Its always hard isn’t it? Sometimes, people try to be optimists, by having no expectations at all. I wont expect anything, so then I will not be disappointed. But is that really a good way to live? I dont think so. I think you should have great expectations, high expectations, but expect 90% of them to fail. 90% of them will bomb, and you should expect it to bomb. One great example is your birthday. Isn’t that just the biggest expectation of all? The older you get, the less you expect, but you still expect. If it wasn’t for my family, my birthday would be just another day in the book. Should it be just another day in the book, should we really celebrate one more year passing us by? Maybe we shouldn’t celebrate that particular day, but every single day that we are living, But thats another debate for another day. I have never had a good experience with birthday parties. Some bdays I have had no one show up, with me standing there holding the birthday cake that I bought and the balloons that are slowly losing their helium. Some bdays I spend too drunk to remember what happened, and then wake up with an ugly hangover. The best ones are those where I spend my night holding my friends’ hair out of the toilet bowl, while she proceeds to puke her guts out.

I wouldn’t curse someone else with the birthdays that I have had. This year was the same. But my family pulled through for me yet again. I wonder what I did to deserve such amazing family. My sister came with me to my birthday and we partied it up like it was 1969. Or 2000. It was amazing, there was booze, there were good-looking guys and there was flirting galore, my kind of party. I danced all night, I looked amazing and it was a hit.

Which brings me to my other relevation (the first being no more birthday parties), never ignore your family. Oh sure, you read the lines and said, I never do that. But think about it. Remember that time in college, when you fell in ‘love’ for the very first time, and all you could think of was that guy, day and night, night and day. Every thought of yours was for that guy (or girl). I made that mistake as well. I was in a relationship haze for 2 years, all I thought about was him, and I ignored my family and friends. Stupido! Molto Stupido! I just slapped my face against my hand as hard as I could. I realize now, that there is a priority list in which you should hold everyone dear to you. First comes you, yourself, and I. You are the most important thing to you, because no one will care about your dreams as much as you will. If you dont put yourself first, you will resent everyone else, and spend a lot of your time complaining. No one needs that. Put yourself and your needs first. Second, is your family. You should put your family on a pedestal, especially your siblings. They are your only link to your past, and they are the only ones likely to stick with you. Stick with them like glue. Third, comes friends. Seriously, guys come and go, but friends stay forever. You will rarely see a guy sacrificing his friends for his girlfriend. Its usually the other way around. We girls, need to learn to do that as well. We just have to.

Last, but least, comes the guy. Take care not to give to him, more time or energy that you can afford to give, after you have given to the three avenues above. It will exhaust you. You are not superwoman, no one is. No one expects you to be either. Here’s the list again for easy reference:

1. YOU

2. Family

3. Friends

4. Partner

Matador Travel Writing School

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I love the Matador sites, especially Brave New Traveler. I especially love the tagline, Exploring the inner journey, through outer travel. Perfection!

So when they came up with the Matador Travel Writing School, I was instantly engaged. I wanted to join it, and I wanted to do it. And then I saw the price, $225 USD. Ugh! How can I afford that right now when I am going travelling? I am still debating, I really, really want to join the program. I know I will learn a lot. I hate these dilemmas, of whether to spend the money or not. I know I am a good writer, I am engaging, people like my writing. I dont know if I would be a good travel writer. I dont know even if I want to be a travel writer. But this is golden information, these people are the masters of travel writing. They have been doing it for ages. I would be a fool not to take that information if I was interested in travelling. I mean, why not earn some money writing articles, that I’m going to write on my blog anyway. A $100 or $300 dollars here and there, would be extremely helpful while I’m travelling. I mean, I could live for ten xtra days with $100.

Additionally, I need to lose some weight, 10 pounds at least.

Australia is expensive

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Now I was thinking about it, and the reason I do not travel through my home country is because it is really expensive. It costs almost as much to travel in my country, as it would to travel to Europe or Asia, which is a bloody lot. But I figured out that Australia costs as much if not more to travel through. Isn’t that a bit hypocritical of me to travel to another expensive country and not travel in my own expensive country? I think so.

I have a working holiday visa for Australia, which means that I can work anytime I want, but the more I think about it, the more I want to stay there for 3 months at the max (visiting New Zealand as well) and then move on as soon as I can, to South East Asia. But what about the reminder by everyone to travel SLOWLY. Every book I have read on travelling, every travel blog, emphasizes the point of travelling SLOWLY. They sometimes say it twice just to make sure we readers understand the importance of the point. I understand, I want to scream. But I am an impatient North American now ( I used to be a slow, calm Indian, but that was when I was in my last life – maybe). I want things done fast and I want them done now, if not yesterday. I do not like the idea of travelling slowly. What if I get bored? What if I die of boredom?

Well, a lot of people wonder about that question, and you know what their answer to that question is? They smoke a boggie (did I spell that right?). Yes, thats right. You are first of all, given the gift of life, and then you are given the gift of travel (which is even rarer than the gift of life), and you waste those precious moments being lost in a deep haze of smoke, using Dude and Dudette for every person that comes along.

I haven’t smoked up ever. I mean never. It is odd, but then I have never smoked a cigarette. I tried a cigar once and I have done shisha a couple of times, but I think about how unfit I am, without smoking. I can’t imagine how unfit I would be, if I did smoke.

But I digress. So I was thinking about the expenses with Australia. I will let you in on a secret. I am the stingiest person on the planet. Well, close to it. I hate spending my savings. I do not even know what I was thinking planning this year sojourn into the world. I would rather die of starvation than spend a single penny of my hard-earned sweat and blood and freezing ass money. So what am I going to do? I could get a job, I do have a working holiday visa. But what is the point of lamenting about being inside all day in the freezing office, and then going on to do the same across the world? I could get a job outdoors, but then what about the holiday, that is supposed to be?

Maybe I am overthinking things, just like usual. People say that North Americans over analyze. They also say that Women overanalyze. They say that introverts overanalyze. And finally They say that writers and readers overanalyze. Me being all of the above, must be an Overanalyzer of the extreme genre. I can’t even look at a bottle of water, without overanalyzing it – thinking of the environment and plastic as a cause of cancer mostly.

Time to go to bed, but the question is still unanswered. I just need to leave and be in Australia and I believe the answer will just come to me, through the global consciousness, the universe. Namaste! Hari Om.

Change of theme

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I dont know how many of you noticed, but I have changed my theme yet again to the Freshy theme from Albeo. And this theme resonates better with the travel theme, with all the different colors of the rainbow, signifying all the different places in the world to visit. I love the font and I love the setting.

I also added some definitions of vagabonding, of me and of my goals for those who are interested. Check it out and tell me what you think!

Hard to come to work

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Damn, it is so hard to come to work after you have given notice. It is only six more days, and thats what I keep on telling myself, but what kind of a person am I, that I am having a hard time with six days?

It is completely pathetic. I was laying in bed in the morning, and I almost contemplated calling in sick. Just thinking about all the work that I am going to be leaving behind, I get a nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel bad for whoever has to take care of it. It is my control issues coming up to surface I guess. I have this delusional feeling that if I am not here taking care of things everyday of every week, the whole world is going to fall apart. How dare I think? Who am I?

The more I read, the more I think, the more I know that I am inconsequential in the whole scheme of things. One person in the milleniums that the universe has been alive, should have no illusions that they are something greater than they already are. They are a speck of dust or even smaller in the whole scheme of things. Worrying about one shipment not going out, or one email not being sent, is so mundane, and small, that it shames me even to worry about it. How can I worry about an email, when there are bigger things that await a person out there? When I care about a shipment, when I have enlightenment to reach?

I am having a really hard time, staying in the present moment. No matter what you do, you have to stay in the moment. But just the anticipation of the trip and I am getting excited and moving away from the moment. I begin thinking about travelling and I forget about working. I start daydreaming and dreaming and just amusing myself with stories of what will happen on this trip and what I will do and the people I will meet. How its going to be glorious fun and how I can’t wait to be let down in some ways and surprised and delighted in others. :)

My ex messaged me yesterday and he asked me to meet up with him, but in secret, without telling his current girlfriend. I know that if I was the one who was being lied to, I would be very upset indeed. So I declined the idea. I dont want to cause pain to some stranger, when its really unneeded. What do you think?

Coincidences (I think so)

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I have to share with you what just happened with me. It just proves to me, the mystical nature of the world, and I believe more and more that we need to live a spiritual life in order to experience all thats around us.

I had a dream last night with my ex in it. He came in two of my dream sequences in one night, oddly enough. He was very insistent in those dreams, trying to get my attention. I got up today with the vivid memory of the dreams, which rarely happens, especially since I was exhausted yesterday from the 2 hour hike. Walking to work, I realized that I need to put my ego aside and need to call my ex, to ensure that we can still be friends, so that I dont have any blockages in my future relationship due to a block on my previous relationship. So I called him and left a voicemail.

Two hours later, I receive an msn message from him. We started cyber-chatting and he said, he had a dream about me last night and thats why he messaged me. I clarified, Did you not get my VM? He said, what VM? I was stunned.

We both had had dreams about each other in the same night and had reached out to the other, after 4 months of no contact. That is the power of coincidence and following your dreams and following your intuition. I am glad we had a chat, I am glad, I followed my intuition and I know that I made the right decision.

Craziness!

Celestine Prophecy

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I have been reading the book Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. The more I read it, the more it makes sense. The one point that totally resonates with me, is the one about how we choose our family. I have heard about this from some other people and some other books as well. I really believe that we choose the families that we are with, we choose our parents, and our siblings, because each of them have something really useful to teach us about ourselves and about the world. My father is all about accomplishment. He only believes in making money and being a millionaire. He was really poor when he was young, but now he was pulled himself in the world, but it seems that nothing is ever enough. My mother is patient and she tries to be our friend. But she is still of the old mind, that we should get married and hold the same job for the rest of our lives. She wants us to be either doctors, lawyers or engineers, the penultimate jobs in the Indian mentality.

I want to follow my own path. Something different. I know I do not want to follow the path of the accomplishment, neither do I want the safe life with my career etched in stone. The more I think about it, the more I know that I have chosen my parents, exactly so that I know what path not to follow. Because the paths they followed have never really brought them any joy, I know they are unhappy, I know that is not the path for me.

I was also thinking about coincidences. I totally believe in coincidences, that everything happens for a reason and it keeps on happening to give us clues into what path we should follow. But I always lament that I never receive enough coincidences in my life. Is that a reasonable lament? I am sure I am getting as many coincidences as other people are, but I am just not paying attention.

I feel sad for the girl that I was for the past 2 years, always hankering after another person, wanting him to make me happy. Ugh, when I think about that time, I feel sad for that girl, who was so lonely inspite of being in a relationship. The loneliness was self-wrought, and the pity me, poor me, personality was developed in defense for it. I know that I needed to go through that to become what I am right now, so I wouldn’t be here, if I hadn’t been there. I am glad I went through it, and I’m glad I am over it now, but it doesn’t mean that I cannot look back at the experience and think about it objectively.

Birthday time

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My birthday is coming up! I always think your birthday is a good time to make any major changes that you want to make in your life. Instead of using New Years’ Eve, which can be a lot of pressure, using your birthdate is something which doesn’t come with the pressure of everyone else making changes at the same time as you. I was thinking about it, and every year I have tried to do something different for my bday and it has always ended up changing my life somehow.

On a completely different side note, I love Condron.us. In the words of one user: jehingr.wordpress.com

“It’s an interesting site that flips through recently updated WordPress and Blogger blogs in the same fashion that I flip through 200 cable channels.
It displays a blog for a few seconds – just long enough to let you decide if it might be worth reading and then it flips on to the next blog.”

I love it! If you are here from condron.us, thank you for taking the time to read my blog. And msg me if you have any questions.